Hopeful
by BettyHT
Summary: Adam and Regina had been in love, but circumstances drove them apart. She kept a secret, and five years later, it will cause dramatic changes in Adam's life. 1st chapters based in part on the episode The Hopefuls.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"He'll get over it."

"Regina, it was arrogant when he said that to thee, but it sounds even worse when thee say it. He is a man who has been taught to be in charge and make hard decisions. Thee have been taught to be gentle and kind. How can thee be so cruel in your thoughts of him now? Is there such pain in thine heart that thee must say these things? I am sorry but those were not true questions, but instead they are my thoughts."

"Brother Samuel, thank thee so very much for thine honesty. I have much to think on this night. I will make a decision soon and tell thee my answer."

As Regina lay back on her bed, she remembered Adam's kisses. He had been so tender and yet so demanding. His tongue had pushed her lips apart and invaded her mouth. She had let him and found that it caused her body to stir in ways she did not yet fully understand. He had walked with her, held her, and kissed her. She had yielded to him, and when they had made love, she felt that she was complete as a person. That such great pleasure could also result from joining with a man had never entered her thoughts before that evening. He had kissed her, caressed her, and touched her. When she thought of how he had gently kissed and touched her, her skin tingled as if from his touch. He had been surprised to find that she had never been with a man, but by then she was too far committed to let him stop. She had begged him to complete their joining. He had groaned into her neck and asked if she was certain. She had said as certain as she could be and then he had. There had been a moment of a little pain, and then there had been glorious pleasure as he was pressing his body against hers and suddenly she had felt something amazing inside herself and said his name over and over again as waves of pleasure washed over her. Then he had moaned before lying still and resting his weight on his elbows. He had leaned down to kiss her before he rolled to her side and pulled her into his body. She had felt his heart pounding in his chest. He had kissed her once more.

"Now will you come with me to the Ponderosa and be my wife?"

"I decided that before we joined. I will have to ask my father, but I think he already suspects that thee have captured my heart with your heart."

And then Sam Board had happened to them. Her father was dead and Adam left with Hoss to find Sam and get the money even though she begged him not to do that. When they had found him in that town, she had again begged him not to resort to violence, although to be absolutely honest, they would have been desperate without the money he got back from Sam. She had said she couldn't live with the violence, and he had said she would get over it. She would not, but as she lay on her bed staring out the window for hours, she knew she would also never get over him. He would come between her and any other man she might consider. She could not imagine how she could agree to be another man's wife when her heart belonged to another. By morning, she had made a decision, but it was not one that anyone had anticipated.

"Samuel, I will live here with the people who traveled west with my father's dream. I will not marry, and I will raise my child here among you who know my shame."

"Will you tell him?"

"No, Samuel, I cannot for if I do not go with him to his Ponderosa, he will take this child from me. not be raised to use violence to achieve goals. Instead, this child will live among people who follow the teachings of the Lord."

"Did Adam not also value honesty and integrity? Again, I am sorry for that is my thought not a question. But, Regina, Adam has a right to his child too. You would deny him this?"

"It is for the best. He will forget me. If he knew this, then there would always be pain for me and for him."

About five years later, Adam sat with Hoss on the porch of the Ponderosa ranch house. He had told his family that he intended to leave. He was heading east and then perhaps to Europe or elsewhere. He wasn't sure but wanted very much to take a chance and break out of the routines he felt had ensnared him. He also confided in Hoss that he wanted a companion in his life and didn't think he would ever find someone compatible in Virginia City.

"Sue Ellen and I never had a chance because of a jealous man. Regina said no and so did Rebecca because they didn't think I could adjust to the religious differences. Ruth went away to save me. Laura left with Will."

"Is that why you're leaving?"

"I guess it's part of it if I'm being honest with myself. Love is too elusive. I think I'll just marry the first woman who suggests it and seems an agreeable person."

"Agreeable to being with you whenever you're in the mood or agreeable as in you being able to stand being with her for the rest of your life?"

Looking at Hoss and then grinning broadly, Adam had an answer. "Both, but if I had to settle for one or the other, the first option seems more reasonable especially if she's the adventurous sort."

"You could just do what other men do."

"It's not the same as having someone keeping you warm at night and right beside you in the morning. Can't think of a better way to start the day."

As Hoss laughed at his comment, Adam turned to the sound of a horse riding in fast. It had to be Little Joe because no one else rode in like that unless it was an emergency. He was correct. Joe swung fluidly down off his horse and walked over to his brothers.

"Got the mail. There's a letter here for you, Adam, from a Samuel Leeds. Do you know who that is? I don't remember anyone with that name around here."

Taking the letter from Joe, Adam took his penknife from his pocket and slit the envelope open. Then he remembered and it made him apprehensive. "Brother Samuel. You remember him, don't you, Hoss? He was with Regina's group." Adam read the letter, stood, and then stomped off to the stable. He said only one thing.

"Son of a bitch. If she's not already dead, I'm going to kill her."

Following Adam to the stable, Hoss and Joe asked if he was leaving earlier than he had said he would because he was saddling up Sport.

"I'm going to see Regina. She's very ill."

"Why you so goldarned mad at her if she's sick?"

"Hoss, she had my baby. She never told me. I have a four-year-old child and I never knew. I never knew." Adam's voice quavered a bit with those last three words. "Samuel said she's very ill and may be dying, and she's not married so the boy would be an orphan. No one there is ready to take on the responsibility so he could end up in an orphanage or taken by some family so I would never get to know my own son. I had a right to know." Adam stood next to Sport then and leaned his head against the saddle.

"You want me to come with you, Adam? It might help not to have to do this alone."

"Hoss, I just don't know. I don't know."

Slapping Adam on the shoulder, Hoss told him he would get some food and pack a bag telling Adam to pack too. They had a long ride ahead of them and might be gone for some time. He reminded him to tell their father too.

"Adam, I'll do anything I can to help too. You just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."

"Thanks, Joe. Just take care of things around here till we get back. I don't know what will happen, and I may need your help before all of this is done."

"I'll water Sport and Chubb and make up some feedbags for the two of you to take along. You'll probably be riding hard, and the horses are going to need some good food to get you there."

Nodding, Adam turned to walk to the house. His first angry reaction had dissolved into turmoil. By the time he got to the house, Ben was coming to meet him. He had been sitting inside wondering how he could have done things differently to have stopped Adam from being so discontented that he would leave when Hoss had come in to say that Adam got a letter and was real upset. Seeing Adam walking to the house, Ben could see it. For someone who always wanted to be so reserved and private, Adam communicated a lot with his body. Right now, his head was down and he was pinching the bridge of his nose. He had something difficult to say and in his mind was working out the best way to say it. Ben stood at the open door and waited. It never worked to try to hurry Adam along in situations like this. He would say whatever he was willing to say when he was ready to say it. When Adam looked up, Ben could see the anguish.

"Pa, I'm going to go see Regina. Brother Samuel wrote that she's very ill and may die. Hoss is coming with me."

Ben waited for he knew there had to be more. Adam was biting the inside of his cheek which was another sign. He had something he knew he should say but didn't want to. He stopped by Ben, dropped his head, and expelled his breath forcefully.

"Son, just spit it out. Anything that happened is in the past. What has you so upset in the present?" When Ben put his hand on Adam's shoulder, he felt him flinch and then surrender.

"She had my baby, Pa. She never told me. I have a son, and I never knew. She should have told me. I had a right to know."

Shocked for a moment, Ben was speechless and that didn't happen much with him. Once everything filtered through, he understood Adam's pain. To lose Regina had been devastating to him, and to find out now that she had his child and never told him had made him question everything about that relationship. "We don't know why she did that. You're going to see her. You need to ask her that. But most of all, you need to concentrate on your son. He's the most important part of this, isn't he?"

Nodding, Adam moved into the house and up the stairs without saying anything more. He passed Hoss in the hallway upstairs and walked to his room lost in thought. Hoss continued down the stairs to his father's side.

"He tell you?"

"Yes, he has a son he never knew he had. Regina may be sick and dying, but Adam is suffering a lot now too. You know he'll find a way to blame himself. He'll think of all the things he should have done but didn't. Hoss, I'm very glad you're going with him. You've always been the one to help him keep an even keel. He's going to need that a lot right now."

Once Adam and Hoss were headed out, there wasn't much talk at first. Hoss asked at one point if Adam wanted to talk about it, and he had replied that he wasn't ready yet. They made camp when it became too dark to travel. At one point during the night, Hoss awakened and in the moonlight he could see Adam was restless. He was correct in assuming that Adam was dreaming of Regina. In the morning, Adam remembered walking with her the day after they made love and how he had thought she had yielded to him out of love, but now he wondered if she had only yielded to him to gain his seed. But then he went the other way with his thoughts, and wondered why she felt it necessary to hide his child from him. Didn't she believe that he had loved her? Had her love burned so hot and then evaporated just as quickly? There was only one place for the answers, and he sent a prayer up that she would be alive when he got there. He wanted to look into her eyes, and he wanted to hear her words. Hoss woke, stood, and rummaged in their packs for a coffee pot and fry pan and asked no questions. Adam would talk when he was ready.

"We don't have time for that."

"Adam, I know you want to ride hard, but just like the horses, we need to eat so we can keep going at such a furious pace. Now I'll make coffee and bacon. We can eat some of those biscuits Hop Sing sent along, and we'll keep some to eat on the way so when the horses need a break, we'll be able to eat too."

Nodding in agreement with that reasoning, Adam said he would take care of the horses. He led them to a stream to drink and then ground tied them in some nice lush grass where they could graze bit. He had that way about him when he had something to say. Adam leaned down and poured himself a cup of coffee. He grabbed a biscuit and forked some crisp bacon between the two halves. Then he sat on a log, took a bite, and chewed slowly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Dadburnit, just say it. You're making me squirm just thinking about what you're thinking."

Smiling a little for Adam knew how Hoss was always so direct and found his reticence maddening at times, so he stated his key thoughts. "Hoss, I was just angry before, and I'm sorry I talked the way I did. I was way out of line because I was just so upset with the news that I had a son but hadn't been told. But now I'm worried. I did love her even if it burned hot and then was taken away in such a short time. I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but I do want some answers. I lost four years with my son. That's going to be difficult to forgive, but I already have some idea why she did what she did."

"You thinking that your shooting of Sam Board made her afraid to let you raise your son?"

Nodding, Adam continued. "I told her she would get over it. I don't even know why I said that at the time. I guess I just wanted her to let me do what I had set out to do. They have this strange attitude toward violence. They wouldn't use it, but thanked me when I kept those two ruffians away from Regina the day I met her. Then they took the money I got back from Board. They accept the results of violence but abhor its use."

"You think she loved you but hated the violence?"

"That's about it. I wanted her to marry me and live on the Ponderosa. She said yes and then changed her mind after her father was killed."

"Well that answers some questions I had."

"You wondered if I took advantage of her and left her, or did I love her? Yes, it seems sometimes that I can be as impulsive as the younger brother I tease for the same reason. I have fallen in love quickly on several occasions. It just never worked out."

"You plan on bringing the boy back with you?"

"I hope so, but I would bring Regina too if she'll have me."

"Do you still love her then?"

"In a way, yes and no. I guess that has to get sorted out yet. I'll know better when I get to see her and talk with her."

"Well, we best get going then. We still got a lot of miles to cover."

As they packed up to go, Adam knew he had not been completely honest with Hoss but wasn't ready yet to share that part of his feelings. He had dreamed of Regina at night, and she invaded his mind all day as he thought about her smile, her soft voice, her very soft lips. Her gentle nature had soothed him and made him want to do anything to make her happy. He had felt intense desire for her the moment he had seen her on the street. It grew each minute he had been with her. He was sure his father had known how he felt for he so easily agreed to Adam accompanying the group as they left the Ponderosa. He had sent Hoss with them too probably to try to rein him in from his headlong rush. It hadn't done any good of course because as soon as Sam Board had turned on them, he had been like a runaway freight train on a mountain grade. Nothing and no one could have stopped him from getting that money back from Board. He had felt responsible and still did. So many had told him it wasn't his fault, and he nodded when they said that, but he didn't believe it.

Two days later, Adam and Hoss rode into the community where Regina lived. Hoss reminded Adam to remember what they had discussed and to keep his emotions under control. Adam and Hoss were directed to a very small home. Adam knocked on the door, and a diminutive woman answered the door. He did not remember her, but she remembered him, called him by name, and told him to come in. A slender boy sat at the table eating his meal and looking suspiciously at them. Adam nodded to him but got no response except an angry look. When he went into the bedroom directed by the woman whose name was Anne, he was shocked. Regina lay in the bed, pale and emaciated. She heard the door open and smiled for him, but her pain showed through.

"I knew thee would come when Samuel told me he wrote the letter I should have written a number of times. I can't tell thee how sorry I am for how things have worked out."

All of Adam's anger and resentment faded with her words. He dropped to one knee next to her bed and took her hand in his. "What's wrong?"

"The doctor removed a carbuncle a few months ago. Apparently though there were more growing inside. They're eating away at me, and there's nothing that can be done."

"How about doctors in San Francisco? Perhaps they could remove them?"

"Adam, my love, there are too many. They press on me in so many places. I'm afraid you will have to accept what I have already accepted. God has decided that it is my time to join Him. All I can do now is to pray that He will forgive my sins and accept me."

"You have no sins to forgive."

"My community here would disagree with thee. I bore a child out of wedlock."

"Why didn't you marry? Why didn't you let me know?"

"The answer to both is much the same. I could not marry another when my heart belonged to thee. I love thee, but I was afraid. Now I am no longer afraid. You will take our son and love him as he should be loved and cherished."

Unable to speak and overcome with emotion, Adam knelt mute at her side. He couldn't think clearly at that moment. Finally he asked the one question he could think to ask. "What's his name?"

"Samuel Adam Cartwright. It was the least I could do. I named you as the father at his birth. Everyone here knew anyway. Brother Samuel has helped me since he was born. That is his wife out there. They have been the rocks I have clung to."

Sammy took that moment to enter the room. He stood defiantly next to the bed where Adam still held Regina's hand. "You can't make me go with you. I want to stay here with Mama."

Closing her eyes and smiling just a bit, Regina spoke for the last time. "He is your son. I have told him as much as I could about you. Thee will find that he has a temper that he has trouble controlling and is as stubborn as you ever were. He may also be as smart as you and he can already read and do his letters and numbers. Love him, Adam. Now Sammy, this is your father. Speak to him with respect."

"Yes, Mama, if you say so."

Regina did not open her eyes, and soon her quiet steady breathing let them know she was asleep. Adam slowly released her hand and pulled the quilt up to her chin. Then he looked at Sammy and nodded toward the other room. Reluctantly Sammy walked out looking back with concern at his mother. Adam pulled the door nearly closed and softly told Anne that Regina had fallen asleep.

"She's been fighting it ever since Samuel told her he sent that letter. I'm afraid the end is very near. I'll sit with her so thee can talk with thine son."

As Anne moved into the bedroom and pulled the door closed, Adam thought to introduce his son to his brother. "Sammy, this is your Uncle Hoss."

"Mighty pleased to meet you, Sammy." Hoss extended his hand, and Sammy was going to reject the overture but knew his mother would not approve. He quickly shook Hoss' hand and then pulled away. Hoss looked over at Adam and raised his eyebrows. Adam nodded. This was going to be very difficult.

That night, Anne and Samuel were in Regina's home with Hoss and Adam. They knew the time was near. Adam sat at Regina's side and talked for hours softly telling her about the Ponderosa and what their son could do there, and the plans he hoped would work out for him. No one knew if she could hear anything any more, but they all thought that Adam's soothing voice and optimistic narration could only help if she did. Sammy fell asleep in Anne's arms. About an hour before dawn, Adam realized he could no longer hear Regina's soft breathing. He reached over and placed his hand over her heart and felt nothing. He knew it was over and was frozen in that position except his head dropped to his chest and tears flowed. Seeing what he had done and his reaction, the others knew too. No one talked for a long time as each dealt with their grief quietly. Then Hoss stood and lifted Sammy from Anne's arms. As Sammy stirred, Hoss reassured him.

"C'mon punkin. It's time for you to sleep in your bed for a while and let your mama rest easy." Hoss did not want Sammy's last view of his mother to be her still gray form lying lifeless in her bed. He knew that Adam was still bothered at times by his memory of Ma dying. Hoss was going to spare Sammy that.

After some time, Hoss heard some commotion in the outer room and peaked out. Adam, Samuel, and two other men were carrying Regina's body in a coffin that they set on the table. Adam bowed his head and then turned toward Sammy's bedroom. He hardly knew his son and now had to tell him that his mother had died. Making things worse for Sammy, he would be leaving with them to go to the Ponderosa and leaving behind the only people and community he had ever known. Walking to the bedroom, Adam relieved Hoss of watching over the little boy. He sat on the chair by his bed watching him sleep and composing in his mind what he had to say when Sammy awoke. He had less than an hour to accomplish that. Sammy woke as the room brightened with the sunrise. Adam had faced gunfighters, mine cave ins, and stampedes but nothing had ever intimidated him like the hostile looks he got from this little boy. He guessed he had been in somewhat of an unrealistic romantic way of thinking by expecting this little boy who didn't know him at all to be happy to see him. When he looked over at Adam as he sat up in bed, the hostility was very evident as was his uncertainty and fear.

"Where's Mama?"

"Sammy, your Mama left last night. She went to be with God in heaven."

"No she wouldn't go. What did you do with my Mama?"

"Sammy, she didn't want to leave. She was very sick, and she couldn't stay any longer. You wouldn't want her to suffer any more, would you? You're very young, but you must know that your Mama had a lot of pain. She was hurting so badly, and the angels took her to heaven so she could get away from the pain."

Watching and listening, Sammy processed what he had heard. Then he had a question. "What will I do? I can't do any of the things Mama did here? Am I going to live with Brother Samuel and Anne?"

"Sammy, your Mama wanted you to go home with me. I live on a big ranch and we have lots of room for you there, and you'll get all the things you need."

"Mama said I was going to live with you. I didn't believe her and I said I didn't want to go with you. I made her cry."

"Your Mama was very sad she had to leave you. That's why she cried. She loved you very much and only wanted the best for you. There will be a lot of people here today to say goodbye to your Mama. Then there will be a burial. Do you have some good clothes to wear? People usually wear their best for a funeral."

"I have my church clothes. Will they be good enough?"

"They'll be fine. Do you need any help?"

Sammy looked at Adam and shook his head. He was going to live among strangers if Adam was correct. Sammy figured he might pack up some of his things and sneak away later in the day so he wouldn't have to leave. He wasn't sure what he would do after that, but he would ask Brother Samuel for help. By late afternoon, Adam and Hoss and four men from the community carried Regina's coffin to the graveyard. Adam was amazed at how light the coffin was and realized just how much weight she had lost and how she must have suffered. Rachel walked with Sammy at their side. The little boy never cried. Adam saw it and recognized the signs. He knew a lot about holding in your grief. He knew too that it needed to come out, but he wasn't sure how he could help Sammy with that. After the burial, everyone walked back to Regina's home. Samuel told Adam that the house was heavily mortgaged and the furniture inside was borrowed. He offered to help Adam pack up everything else, and they agreed to do that the next day. Adam and Hoss were exhausted for they had gotten no sleep in the past thirty-six hours. They needed some rest and planned to sleep on their bedrolls in Regina's home. Adam had sent a telegram to their father telling him the basics.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When it was time for dinner, Hoss began to set out some of the food that had been dropped off for them. Adam went to get Sammy from his room where he had retreated after the funeral. All he found was an open window.

"Hoss, he's gone." Adam rushed outside to look for tracks below the window. He found that a four-year-old boy didn't leave much of a trail, but between him and Hoss they managed to track him next door to Brother Samuel's stable. Walking inside, Adam and Hoss listened for sounds to indicate where he might be. They heard nothing until Adam climbed the ladder to the loft. There were sounds then in the hay in the loft. Adam stopped at the top of the ladder.

"Sammy, I won't ever hurt you. I love you because you're my son, and I want you to come with me so I can take care of you. There's no place here for you anymore. I'm really sorry about that. I know how hard it must be for you." There was no reaction so Adam continued. "My mama died when I was born. I never knew her. Then my father married a wonderful woman. I was only about five years old. About a year later she was killed by Indians."

"Really?" Sammy sat up and brushed some hay from his hair and his arms and shoulders.

"Yes, two of my mothers died when I was very young. I do know how it feels to lose your mother. But my father is still alive. I'm your father, and I'm here for you. I hope you're willing to come with me and give me a chance to show you that you can still be happy even if you don't have your mother any more. She would want you to be happy, wouldn't she?"

"I guess so. Why can't you live here in our house?"

"I know it's your home, but it's not my home. I have a father and two brothers at my home. You already know Hoss. I have another brother named Joe."

"Hoss is a funny name."

"Yes, and sometimes Hoss is a very funny man, but he is also very nice, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is, but he's kinda big. That scares me a little. You scare me too."

"I'm sorry about that. I'll try to smile more if that would help. Now will you come down and have some dinner with us?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Well I was real scared to climb up here, and when I got to the top and looked down, I was really scared. I can't do it."

"You don't have to. If you come here, you can grab hold of me and close your eyes. I'll climb down for both of us. My legs are halfway down the ladder already."

Taking a deep breath, Sammy took his small bag of possessions and crawled over to where Adam waited. He needed some encouragement, but finally he got close enough that Adam could reach him. Adam pulled Sammy to him and dropped his small bag to Hoss who was waiting below. Samuel had entered at some point and stood beside Hoss. Adam pulled Sammy in close and told him to wrap his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Then Adam slowly and smoothly climbed down the ladder. At the bottom, Sammy continued to cling to him for a moment until he realized Samuel was there.

"Adam, thee will make a fine father if that is any indication of how thee will take care of thy son. I worried when I saw thee heading into my stable. Now I understand what happened. Is there anything I can do for thee?"

Declining the offer, Adam simply said they were hungry and tired and needed to take care of both. He asked if Samuel could come over in the morning so they could pack up Regina's things. Samuel agreed. Sammy asked where Adam and Hoss would sleep. They said they would put their bedrolls on the floor. Sammy asked if he could sleep on the floor too.

"Heck, Sammy, you can sleep in my bed roll ifn you want to. I'll trade ya for the bed."

So Hoss slept in Sammy's bed and Sammy slept in Hoss's bedroll next to Adam who tried to sleep in his. He found sleep elusive though as he realized the responsibility he had assumed. He had made some progress with Sammy but assumed there might be some difficult days ahead for them as Sammy had a lot of adjustments to make and a lot of grieving to do.

The next morning, it didn't take long to pack Regina's possessions. Adam didn't know what Sammy would want so he packed all of it. They had several crates by the time they were done. With Brother Samuel's help, Adam made arrangements to have the crates shipped to the Ponderosa. When Adam asked Sammy if he would rather travel by stage or horseback, Sammy was excited at the prospect of riding a horse until Adam said he would sit in front of him for the trip to the Ponderosa if they went by horseback. Sammy still opted for that method of travel. They rode out at midday hoping to get a good start on the trip. Sammy had to pee after they rode for only an hour.

"Where do I pee?"

"Well, you just go behind a bush and do it."

"I need to go in a necessary. At home, I always went to the necessary."

"Not out here. I'll go with you. I could go too after all that coffee this morning."

Several minutes later, Sammy ran back to where Hoss was standing with the horses. "Uncle Hoss, Papa has a really big pickle."

"A what?"

"He was peeing too, and I looked, and he has a really big pickle. He can pee a long way too. When I get big like him, I'm gonna have a really big pickle and pee a long way too."

Adam had walked out of the bushes to hear Sammy's excited utterances to Hoss. He rolled his eyes as Hoss began to laugh. Adam sent Sammy to the stream to wash his hands telling him he forgot to do that. Hoss continued to laugh.

"In all that has happened, the one thing he's impressed about me is my 'pickle' and how far I can pee. But that's the first time he referred to me as Papa too."

Barely able to stop laughing, Hoss had to comment. "It's a start, older brother. Heck you could have him telling people in town that, and you'd have quite a reputatiion. Big pickle!" And he laughed more, and several times more as they rode, he would laugh again at the memory.

The next morning as Hoss and Adam prepared breakfast, they could see storm clouds building. Adam had his own little storm in camp as Sammy quite loudly informed him that he didn't like his cooking and wanted hotcakes and syrup or scrambled eggs for his breakfast. Adam gave him a plate of beans and bacon that Sammy set on the ground and refused to eat. Adam refilled his coffee cup.

"It's going to be a wet and chilly day. If you don't want to eat, that's your business, but there won't be anything else today until we can find some cover. That storm is going to hit us in a couple of hours or less."

"I want something else to eat."

"There isn't anything else."

"Thee are a terrible father. Mama was never so mean to me."

"Sammy, I'm not being mean. I'm just saying that's all we have. I cannot create something out of nothing. Now you can eat some of this with me or there won't be anything until later." Reluctantly and grimacing with each mouthful, Sammy ate beans and bacon for the first time. He sipped some of Adam's coffee that he declared to be very good. "You can drink some on the trail, but when we get home, you'll drink milk or water. Well sometimes Hop Sing makes hot cocoa. You'll like that."

"What's hot cocoa?"

"It's chocolate flavored milk heated up."

"What's chocolate?"

Hoss had to jump into the conversation then. "You ain't ever had chocolate?" Sammy shook his head. "Well, you got some really good treats coming then. Hop Sing makes a really good chocolate cake. I bet if you ask him when we get there, he'll make one for ya. Well not for ya to  
eat all alone, but because you came home with us."

"Who's Hop Sing? Is he another brother you have, Papa?"

"No, Hop Sing is our cook and a great friend of our family. He's been with us since I was very young. It's hard to remember a time when he wasn't with us."

"He has a funny name too."

"He's from China. It's across the ocean."

"What's an ocean?"

As Adam and Hoss cleaned up the camp and saddled the horses, Sammy had a nonstop stream of questions. Adam did his best to answer, but it seemed as if each answer led to another question. Hoss couldn't help but snicker. Adam finally had a comment for him. "If you think it's so funny, you could try answering some of his questions for a while."

"It's not your answers. It's the stories Pa always tells about you on the trail, and how he had to go out with hunting parties and such just to get away from your endless questions. Guess you're getting to see what that's like now." As Sammy went behind some bushes to do his business, Hoss softly commented further. "He's warming up to you real fast, Adam. Just keep on doing what you're doing."

"I wish someone had left written instructions. It would make things a lot easier."

"Hey, Pa may be real pleased to hear that. He's always saying how you don't take any of his advice. Maybe you will now. He shur had enough practice raising up boys."

Both men pulled out their slickers and had them ready. Hoss asked what they would do about Sammy, and Adam said his slicker was large enough that Sammy could sit underneath it. With that settled, they moved out hoping to find a ranch or homestead where they could take cover or even some overhanging ledge. The storm hit before they found any shelter. They rode for hours in the downpour until Hoss saw what he thought were lights up ahead as dusk descended. Adam kept his head down trying to shield Sammy's head from the rain as Hoss rode lead. It was a small farm with a house, a barn, and a few small outbuildings. Hoss stopped at the house asking if they could please take shelter in the barn. The man inside rather reluctantly gave his permission. Hoss got the doors open and Adam ducked down and rode in. Hoss pulled Chubb in behind him and then closed the doors. After Adam pulled his slicker off, he handed it to Hoss before handing Sammy down to him. Sammy was scared for there had been wind, lightning, and thunder. He was also hungry and tired. Adam dismounted and moved to unsaddle Sport but had to tend to Sammy instead who began crying. Adam had known this was going to happen at some point so of course it would happen at one of the most inopportune times.

"I want my Mama. Please can we go back to my home? Mama's there, and I want to go home."

Quietly and trying to be soothing, Adam answered as he wrapped his arms around his shivering son. "Sammy, I'm sorry, but you can't go home to your Mama. You have to come with us."

Sammy pushed away from Adam loudly sobbed. "Why did you take me out here? I don't want to go with you. I want to go home. I want my Mama!"

Gathering Sammy in his arms, Adam sat against the wall of the stable and held him and did his best to soothe him. Slowly Sammy calmed down and fell asleep in Adam's arms. Hoss looked over at him and motioned that he should stay there and Hoss would care for the horses. Hoss got out their bedrolls and placed them on a bed of hay. Then Adam moved slowly so as not to wake Sammy and lay down. He whispered thanks to Hoss and rolled Sammy on his side and spooned around him as Hoss laid a blanket over the two of them. Hoss dug out some jerky and chewed on it, and drank from the canteen. He didn't understand how Adam could skip meals like he did and keep going. He hoped that in the morning they could buy a hot meal from the family who had let them stay. He fell asleep with the image of fried eggs and potatoes with biscuits. He awoke to a rifle barrel pressed against the side of his face.

"Ah, Adam, Adam, you best wake up. We got company, and they ain't none too friendly."

Opening his eyes, Adam saw a rifle barrel inches from his face. He was ordered to release Sammy and back away toward Hoss. He didn't have much choice. Then a woman leaned down and gently shook Sammy awake. He was frightened seeing the man with a badge and the rifle so the woman told him to back away which he did but he kept the rifle trained on Adam's midsection.

"It's all right now, child. We'll get you back to your mama. These two are going to jail."

"You can take me to my Mama?"

"Well of course we can. I heard you crying last night that these men took you away from your mama. I came out here to bring them some food but I had no idea they had you with em til I heard ya crying. My husband went for the sheriff here just as soon as that rain let up. You just tell us where your mama lives, and we'll take you there."

Sammy broke down and started crying again. Adam tried to stand to move to him but was clubbed with a rifle stock and toppled to the ground holding his head. That shocked Sammy into stopping his crying as he rushed to Adam pulling out of the woman's gentle grasp. "Papa, Papa, don't die. Papa, don't die!"

That led to a lot of confusion on the part of the would-be rescue party. None of them understood what was happening so it was up to Hoss to explain as well as he could. "That there is Samuel Adam Cartwright. That's his father, Adam Cartwright, and I'm Hoss Cartwright. Sammy was living with his Mama, but she died. We come to take him home to our ranch. She ain't been dead but a couple of days so the boy was crying for her yesterday. This is all a big mess, but we ain't done nothing wrong. Now ifn you don't mind, I'd like to see to my brother."

The farmer dropped the rifle barrel down and looked sheepishly at the sheriff and then a little angrily at his wife. She said she would go get some towels and warm water and scurried away. The sheriff apologized and then left. The farmer helped Hoss get Adam back on the bedroll. He was lucid which was a good sign but had a bloody gash on the side of his head. Sammy was terrified so as Hoss held his handkerchief up against the wound to slow the bleeding, Adam pulled Sammy into his arms telling him he would be fine. When the woman returned, Hoss cleaned up the wound and bandaged it.

Then they were invited into the house for breakfast. Adam declined but said he wouldn't mind a cup of coffee. He sat quietly by Sammy's side as the little boy ate hot cakes and scrambled eggs. Hoss had the same but a lot more, and the woman tied up biscuits and some hardboiled eggs in a napkin for them to take with them. Hoss saw that they had some apples and asked if they could take a few with them. She got out another napkin and put apples, a couple of potatoes, and an onion in there. It was clear she had only meant to help. Hoss left five dollars in the barn when he saddled up the horses. He knew that the woman had given them some of their basic provisions. With the money, they could buy more and probably have a lot of other things too.

Because Adam was injured, Sammy rode with Hoss for the rest of that day, as Adam was feeling a bit dizzy. They had to stop at one point when he retched up the coffee he had drunk. Hoss knew he was having a miserable day in the saddle, but he never complained. Adam ate a biscuit and drank coffee without getting sick at their lunch break. That evening, they made camp early. If they had pushed hard, they could have reached the Ponderosa, but as it was, they had at least four more hours of riding to get home. Hoss fixed dinner but only he and Sammy ate. Sammy asked if he could sleep next to Adam and got a smile as his answer. The next morning, Adam said he was fine. He wasn't, but he did eat some breakfast and claimed that he was no longer nauseated although he did have a big sigh of relief when the ranch house finally came into view.

Once they reached the yard, Ben came rushing out. Adam dismounted and as soon as Hoss put Sammy on the ground, he ran to Adam and wrapped his arms around his legs. Adam leaned down and picked him up carrying him into the house and heading for a chair to sit as fast as he could. Ben was clearly excited about meeting his grandson, but Sammy buried his head against Adam's shoulder. Adam closed his eyes and rested his head against his son. With his hat off, the blood stained bandage brought up a lot of questions. Ben turned to Hoss for answers and got an abbreviated version of everything that had happened over the previous week. Ben went to ask Hop Sing to come out and take care of Adam's head wound. Sammy never budged while any of that was happening. When Hop Sing had cleaned the wound and bandaged it again, Adam laid his head back and closed his eyes. He and Sammy stayed in the blue chair until dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"He's got an out-of-wedlock son, and he's older too. There's got to be a reason why a handsome man like that doesn't have a wife yet at his age. What woman would want to marry him now?"

There was plenty of gossip around town when word of Adam's son filtered through the community. Many women would still marry him, but unfortunately many of those women were looking at the wealth and status to be achieved. Adam immersed himself in the care of his son and work on the ranch. He was exhausted, and no one was happy. Hop Sing and Ben often ended up watching over Sammy who often was unhappy to be in their company. Most of the time, he wanted to be with Adam. The loss of his mother had instilled in him a strong fear of abandonment. If Adam was around, he was happy to spend time with the other members of the family especially Hoss because of the bonding they did on the trip back to the Ponderosa. But if Adam wasn't there, he was definitely cranky and uncooperative. Adam had little time for himself as he did his best to complete his work on the Ponderosa and spend time with Sammy. Within weeks, Ben decided it was time to step in and suggest that they needed to go another way with Sammy's care. One night after Hoss and Joe had retired to their bedrooms and Sammy was sound asleep, Ben thought it was time to say something.

"Adam, don't you think you ought to consider hiring someone to help with Sammy's care. He needs someone to be with him when you're working. He needs someone who can watch over him and help him with things. I have work to do and errands to run. Hop Sing is busy too. He's had his mother for that and now she's gone. He needs someone to be with him during the day."

"Don't you think I'm being a good father to my son?"

"Of course you are, but you're trying to work full-time on the ranch and be a full-time parent to Sammy. It's too much."

"You did it with me for five years."

"I had help along the way, and many times when I didn't have help, I shortchanged you. There were times I left you alone and shouldn't have. I expected too much of you as a boy. You know that."

"It was all right, Pa. I managed to grow up just fine."

In his heart, Ben knew that wasn't entirely true. Adam had needed the loving care that he had been too busy to offer most of the time. Adam had been there for Hoss, and Marie had been there for Joe for those early years. Ben knew that some of Adam's personality characteristics were because he had been expected to be too mature and too independent at a young age. He didn't want Sammy to be the same way. "Adam, I know you are a good man. But I still feel badly about what happened. You can tell me not to feel that way, but it doesn't change the feeling. Someday, you may regret not providing Sammy with all the care you could. It would only be for two years until he's ready for school. Then he would spend his days with other children and a teacher for much of the year."

Adam had stared into the fire while his father was talking. Ben wasn't saying anything that Adam hadn't been thinking about since Sammy had come home with him. It was the right thing to do and yet he hesitated to let a stranger take over that role with his son. Ben had some idea what he was thinking.

"I hesitated too when I had opportunities to leave you in the care of others. You were my only son, and I wanted to keep that relationship with just the two of us. It was selfish, and I regret not accepting some of the help that was offered. Inger was the one who was strong enough to push through that stubbornness I had and show me that you needed more than just me in your life."

"A wife would resolve a lot of these issues, but I'm afraid I'm not seen as very marriageable material right now except by those who want my money or my name. A son born out of wedlock and only four years old seems to be a real hindrance at romance these days not to mention I don't know when I would be able to even see a woman."

"Adam, that's part of what I was saying. To be a good father, you need to take time for yourself too. You don't have any time now."

"I'll think about it, Pa. Right now, I need to get some sleep or I won't be able to function at all tomorrow. Good night."

Ben watched his son climb the stairs. He was weary and it showed in everything he did. On many nights, Ben knew Adam was awakened by Sammy crying and spent time soothing the little boy until he fell asleep. Unfortunately he didn't think Adam was falling back asleep so easily when that happened. Adam blamed himself for so much that had happened when he had had little control over anything. Ben would say a prayer again this night and hope that a solution could be found. The next morning, Adam asked Ben if it would be all right if he went into town to put an ad in the paper for a nanny for Sammy. Ben agreed wholeheartedly with the idea. Adam sighed deeply for next he would have to convince Sammy to give it a try. He didn't expect that would be easy, but if he involved his son in the process, he hoped that he might better be able to accept a nanny. As expected, Sammy was not in the frame of mind to accept a nanny.

"Papa, I want to be with you. I can ride with you. You could take me with you when you go work."

"Sammy, you know I can't do that. A lot of things I do are too dangerous for a boy. When you're older, you can help but not yet."

"Well I don't need no old nanny. I can take care of myself."

Smiling a little at that line because he vaguely remembered saying things like that a few times when he was much younger, Adam had to insist that Sammy accept his decision. "Sammy, I'm your father. You need to remember that. I make those kinds of decisions for you, and you need to remember to show respect when I do."

"Yes, Papa. But I don't have to like it, do I?"

"No, you can think anything you want, but you need to be careful about what you say. Now I want you to ride to town with me so we can put an ad in the paper for a nanny. You can help me with that, can't you?"

Sammy wasn't at all sure what an ad was, but if his Papa was asking for help, he was going to give it so he nodded enthusiastically. At least for this morning, he would have his father all to himself. The ride into town was filled with questions from Sammy and answers from Adam when he had them. Some things were just impossible to answer. Why are there mountains and questions such as that taxed Adam's memory of college classes and sometimes he was stumped. By the time they got to town, Adam was glad that there would be other things to grab his son's attention for a while. In the newspaper office, Adam and the editor worked on an ad, and Adam read it to Sammy asking if he thought that would work. Sammy nodded even though he didn't know what an interview and salary were. He trusted that his father knew so he agreed. Adam treated Sammy to lunch at a restaurant and a trip to the store to buy some chocolate and pick up the supplies that Hop Sing had asked them to get. The ride home was quiet as Sammy was tired and fell asleep next to Adam who drove slowly and kept one arm around his son. It felt so good to have a son that for a time he forgot all about the difficulties he had already encountered as a father. He had also noted a number of disapproving looks in town. He hoped that by the time Sammy started school, people would have accepted that he had a son and have forgotten how Sammy came to live on the Ponderosa.

On Saturday, there were a number of women who replied to Adam's ad and showed up on the Ponderosa for an interview. Most of them seemed to be interviewing Adam as a potential husband rather than applying to be a nanny, and the others were not qualified. Sammy sat by Adam's side as he interviewed the ladies. He didn't speak with any of them, and sighed with relief as each one left. Adam told each one that he would try to make a decision and let them know on Sunday when he and Sammy attended church services. After about ten such interviews though, Adam looked over to his father who was sitting at his desk reading and asked if he thought any of the candidates so far were qualified or appropriate for the position. Ben shrugged but agreed none were. The last candidate for the position appeared to be a bit older wearing glasses and walking with a cane. Adam relaxed assuming she would not be there hoping that he would marry her someday. As she sat down, Adam realized she was much younger than he first thought. She noticed his look and decided to explain before he asked any questions.

"I was born with a weak leg. I wore a brace when I was a child, but now I make do with a cane. I wear glasses to read, but I usually wear them all the time because if I take them off, I forget where they are."

"So you like to read?"

"I love to read. I had a job at the bookstore for a little while except I couldn't climb the ladder very well. I have lost every job I've tried because of things like that. I know I can't run and play that way with your son, but we could read and draw, and take walks. If you have a garden, we could plant things and watch them grow. I like animals too so if you had a pet or two, we could play with them. I really need a job, Mr. Cartwright and I would do everything I could to make sure your son is healthy and happy. I grew up with two little brothers so I have experience in things that boys like to do."

"What's your name?"

In her haste to convince Adam to hire her, she had neglected to introduce herself. She turned red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry. My name is Rachel Lea Miller. My family owns a small farm just to the east of here. It's not very good land but enough for them to survive. I need to help out, and I can't do farm work very well."

Sammy edged closer to Rachel and asked her a question. It was his first interest in any one of the candidates. "You can teach me to draw?"

"I love to draw. We could draw all sorts of things if your father has paper and pencils for us to use."

"Papa, do you have paper and pencils for us to use?"

"Yes, I do, and I could get more. Rachel, can you start on Monday?"

"Yes sir, I could do that. What time should I be here?"

"How far is it to your family farm?"

"It's about ten miles from here. It's really closer to Carson City, but I couldn't get a job there either."

"Rachel, if you're willing, you could stay here from Sunday night until Saturday morning. That way you wouldn't spend hours traveling every day, and if I was delayed by work, you would be here with Sammy. We have a room down here next to the kitchen that you could use."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I'll do the best job I can as Sammy's friend and helper."

Sammy perked up at that comment too. "Are we going to be friends?"

"Yes, if you'll have me as your friend."

"Papa, would it be all right if Rachel is my friend? I don't have any friends here."

"Yes, Sammy, that would be just fine."

On Sunday morning at church, Adam disappointed a number of women who had each thought that they had come up with a foolproof plan to snag Adam Cartwright as a husband. They had not expected to be thwarted by a woman they considered to be a cripple. Now there would be even more barbed comments about him, but Adam didn't care. He felt that he had finally made a very good decision as a father, and it felt good. Ben had asked him exactly that at breakfast as he smiled and joked with his brothers.

"It feels good being a father, doesn't it?"

Adam nodded and smiled. He was a little nervous about handing over so much responsibility for his son to a stranger, but he need not have a few weeks, Rachel had managed to get Sammy to accept that his father would be gone all day sometimes, but he would be home in the evening. Her nature helped Sammy build trust in people again, and he gradually lost some of the fear that Adam would leave too as his mother had left. Rachel had a gift for drawing and the two of them often spent the mornings walking and then drawing the things they had seen on their walk. Rachel read to Sammy every day after lunch until he fell asleep for his nap. Some of the reading had words too difficult for the little boy so she would paraphrase as she read.

When adults were around, Rachel became very quiet and reserved, but Ben watched her sometimes as she worked with Sammy in the garden behind the house. He could hear her laughter as he stood at the dining room window. Hoss was very interested in being a friend to Rachel and gradually she was warming up to him. They shared a love of animals and brought Sammy to the stable to see a new colt or new kittens when they arrived. The longer Rachel was there, the less Sammy woke up crying at night from bad dreams. Adam noticed that and saw too how relaxed his son was now when he returned home. Before Rachel had started staying with him, Sammy would run for Adam almost desperately when he walked in the front door. Now he smiled and waved as he waited for his father to put away his gunbelt, hat, and jacket if he was wearing one. Adam was becoming more relaxed too as he was able to get more sleep at night and not spend a good part of the day worrying about his son.

Eventually it was more convenient for Rachel to stay on the ranch over the weekends. She had Saturday and Sunday off but still often spent time with Sammy or with the whole family. Adam was paying her thirty dollars a month and thought that he had made a great bargain. She was worth even more than that to him. He was so grateful for how well she and Sammy got along that when Sammy asked if the three of them could go on a picnic, he agreed. He didn't notice the look he got from Hoss who wished that he could spend more time with Rachel. Ben noticed though and worried about what might happen. Adam had not shown any romantic interest in Rachel, but that didn't mean he would welcome his brother having a romantic relationship with Sammy's nanny.

What Ben didn't know because no one knew was that Rachel was invading Adam's dreams at night. Adam couldn't understand why he found her attractive, but he did. She came from a dirt poor farm family and had little formal education. She had never been outside the state of Nevada, and could only describe things like the ocean by using what she had read. She did read a lot, but not the type of books Adam most enjoyed. She read a lot about nature and other countries often sharing what she had learned with Sammy who seemed to inhale information. Yet when he was close to her, he noticed her shape, her narrow waist, and more and more he did not notice her limp or her glasses. He liked hearing her laugh for it seemed to make everything lighter. He liked how she was with his son encouraging him and yet not accepting any sass from him. With a word or a gesture, she was able to make Sammy behave and be careful to be respectful at all times. Most of all perhaps he loved her attitude. She had so many things that could have made her depressed but instead had made her stronger. She was very matter-of-fact in describing what to others would be a litany of complaints. When Sammy suggested a picnic, he had almost wanted to say no for fear that he might act on his impulses, but he was even more determined to do things to make her and Sammy happy so he agreed.

At the lake, Adam drove the carriage as close as he could. Then he grabbed the picnic basket and a blanket in one hand and offered his other arm to Rachel to help her down the slope. She did her best to walk without leaning on Adam too much but did find the walk down to be difficult and wondered how much more difficult it might be to climb up that slope. She decided she would be happy and worry about that later. She was on Adam's arm and cherished the moment.

At first she had found him to be so serious and dark, she was intimidated. As she saw him with his son though and how his face would relax in joy just watching his son play or talk, she knew that he was a gentle man inside. The more time she spent in the ranch house with all of the family, the more she warmed to all of them especially Hoss whom she thought was a good friend. But Adam made her feel things she had never felt. She was completely unfamiliar with male-female relationships. No one had ever even attempted to kiss her, and at dances and parties, she would often volunteer to help with refreshments because at least she got to talk with people that way. She had seen Adam at those dances as well as his younger brothers. She liked all of them and had thought Joe was the cutest but recently had come to appreciate the more masculine look Adam had. That chest hair peeking out of his shirt and his almost constant shadow of a beard had seemed unattractive when she was young, but now she found that they stirred her heart and she longed to touch his face and run her fingers through that curly hair on his chest. Whenever she thought that way, she blushed and she was blushing furiously now. Adam took it to mean that the walk was too difficult for her, and she was grateful for that thought. Accepting the ruse, she agreed that they should pause and admire the view. Adam called out for Sammy to wait for them, and when he was going to run ahead anyway, Rachel just said his name forcefully and he stopped. Adam grinned.

"You do have a way with him. I don't think he ever stops for me with just his name being yelled."

"You don't do it forcefully enough. You sound almost sorry that you have to say it that way, and he hears that in your voice and takes advantage of you." Suddenly truly embarrassed at giving advice to the parent of the child for whom she was hired to care, Rachel blushed even more. "I'm sorry. I was out of place to say that."

Adam set the picnic basket down and turned toward her lifting her chin with one finger. His face was very close to hers, and she wondered what it would be like to kiss those cupid bow lips but had to banish that thought to listen to him.

"No offense taken. I love it that you care enough for Sammy to know him and how to work with him. I've never been a father before, and I do appreciate any advice you could give me." Thinking what it would be like to kiss those soft full lips, Adam hurriedly dropped his hand to apologize. "Now I was way out of line. I should never have touched you without your permission. Please forgive me."

There was a little catch in Rachel's voice as she answered. Adam noticed and began to wonder how she felt about him. She said it was quite all right and she didn't mind. Before Adam could say any more, Sammy yelled for them to hurry then, and they continued down the slope. Adam threw a blanket under a tree and set the basket there. "Now, let's see who is the champion stone skipper in this bunch."

After skipping stones for about an hour, they returned to the blanket to have their lunch. Hop Sing had packed up some of Sammy's favorites so there were lots of biscuits with a bottle of preserves to spread on them. There was chicken, apple pie, and a jug of water. Once they had devoured all of the food, Adam asked Sammy if he wanted to take his nap at the house or there on the blanket.

"Papa, I think I'm getting too old to take a nap. I think we should skip stones again."

Looking at his son dubiously, Adam had a proposition for him. "You rest here on the blanket and close your eyes for ten minutes. If you don't fall asleep, then we can play more. How's that?"

"That's a piece of cake. Uncle Hoss taught me that. He said it means something is real easy."

Ten minutes later as expected, Sammy was sound asleep on the blanket to the amused looks of his caregivers. Adam pointed to a large boulder by the lake, and the two of them got up carefully and walked to sit next to the water and converse softly. Adam felt more relaxed than he had in years. He realized it wasn't just being Sammy's father that had done it. Having Rachel there seemed to make him more complete. He decided that he needed to know more about her so started asking some questions. He found she was the same age as Hoss so only six years younger than he was. Her leg had been twisted during delivery and had never been right. She walked with a cane because she could not afford a new brace, and canes could be whittled as hers had been so it was free.

"I think you should see Doctor Martin. Maybe he would have some ideas about your leg, and you could get a new brace if you needed and wanted one."

"Adam, I can't afford that. The money you're paying me is needed by my family. I don't know what we're going to do when Sammy starts school and you don't need my help any more."

"You're an employee of the Ponderosa, and all employees get their medical care at our expense. Now as your boss, I'm telling you to see Doctor Martin." To soften his approach, he grinned and said please. She couldn't resist that look and those dimples so she nodded. "Good, we can go into town tomorrow. Sammy likes going to town and having a captive audience for his questions. We can go to Doctor Martin's office, and then we can have lunch together."

"Adam, I don't really have a dress suitable to eating in a restaurant."

"Wear that green one. It looks good on you, and it will be fine for the restaurant I have in mind."

"All right, but if we sit here much longer, the doctor will be treating me for sunburn too."

Sliding down off the boulder, Adam turned to help Rachel down. When she was standing though he didn't release her waist but stood just inches from her. "May I kiss you?" Unable to speak, Rachel only nodded. When Adam leaned in to kiss her, she did not react for she had no idea what was expected of her. Adam leaned back. "I'm sorry. I thought you wanted me to kiss you."

"Adam, I did. I do. But, I've never kissed anyone. I don't know what to do."

Smiling then and a bit nervous realizing she was completely new at this type of relationship, Adam took her hands and pulled them up and behind his neck. Then he wrapped his arms around her. "There, we hold each other just like that. And then I lean down and do this." He brushed his lips over hers very gently and then increased the pressure holding the kiss for just a moment. "Now you just do what I did." He leaned down and Rachel brushed her lips over his and held the pressure of a kiss for just a moment. Almost on their own, her fingers were twining in the curls at the back of his neck. He smiled down at her, and leaned in for a kiss, and then teased her lips apart just a little with his tongue. Rachel didn't need to be told to do the same as she met the tip of his tongue with hers. He pulled away briefly to ask her if it was all right, and she pulled his head down for another kiss that lasted for several minutes.

"Are you two gonna get married now?'

Breaking apart hurriedly at Sammy's question, Adam shook his head and sighed. "No, Sammy, and what we do together is very private, so please don't tell anyone." Looking back at Rachel, Adam could see that her lips were a bit puffy from their intense kisses, and she might have just a bit of whisker burn. He would have to take more care shaving in the mornings especially and probably before dinner too. Adam offered his arm to Rachel and they went to pack up the blanket and basket. Sammy wanted to stay longer, but he had slept so long, they needed to get back.

"Can we do this again, Papa?"

Looking at Rachel and grinning, Adam had an answer with a double meaning that Rachel understood immediately. "I would love to do this again. All of it."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Grandpa, if a man kisses a woman, do they get married then?"

"Well, sometimes they do. Usually they spend a lot of time together to see if they like each other well enough to be married and to see if they are truly in love." Apparently Sammy had seen Rachel kissing, and Ben wondered if it had been Adam or Hoss. Then he remembered that Adam had shaved before dinner the previous evening after returning from the picnic and thought he probably had that answer.

"How much kissing do they have to do before they know?"

"Well that's up to the man and the woman. They'll know when it's enough."

"I never saw my Mama kiss anybody, but Brother Samuel would kiss Sister Anne whenever he thought no one was looking, and then they got married."

Ben smiled. He remembered what it was like trying to be romantic with Inger, and having a very curious, inquisitive, and observant Adam there. It seemed like poetic justice that Adam had the same problem now. Hoss had walked down the stairs as Sammy was talking to Ben. He had hoped to find Adam and talk with him. Ben said that he and Rachel were already in the stable getting the carriage ready for a trip to town. They planned to leave right after breakfast. Ben could see the disappointed look on Hoss' face.

"Sammy, why don't you go wash your hands, and then get your new hat. If you're riding to town, you will need that hat."

"All right, Grandpa." He started to run up the stairs and then stopped and looked guiltily at Ben.

"It's all right. You remembered and stopped. Next time, try to remember before you start running in the house."

As Sammy went up the stairs and turned the corner, Hoss walked over to his father's desk. "Adam and Rachel are getting pretty close then?"

"Yes, I think they are. Does that bother you?"

"No. Oh, maybe a little. Pa, I like her."

"Adam likes her too, and I think he's falling in love with her. By the way I've seen her look at him when he's not looking, she may already be in love."

Hoss' head dropped. He liked Rachel and had wondered if they could have developed a romantic relationship. Ben wondered at his motivation though.

"Why Rachel?"

"Well she likes animals. And she's real good with Sammy. She's got a pretty laugh."

With the way Hoss looked, Ben had a sudden thought and had to ask. "And she walks with a limp, wears glasses, and no man has ever paid any attention to her in the past. Is that the attraction?"

"Dadburnit, Pa, Adam could have all sorts of gals. Joe too. Not that many gals will even give me a chance. I thought maybe Rachel would."

"I'm sorry, Hoss, but it sounds like you were interested in Rachel because you thought no other man would be interested in her. Now you find that it seems Adam is interested. You are a fine man. You should not be thinking that you only get to have the women that other men don't want."

"Ain't that how it's been, Pa. Margie left with another. Emily was dying. Bessie Sue scares every man around here, so she'll go out with me cause I'm the only one who ever asks her. But I don't like her all that much, Pa. At least I really like Rachel."

"Hoss, there's a dance Friday night. I want you to go and I want you to ask every lady there to dance. If one says no, move on to the next one. There is a woman out there who would appreciate you. You need to make a greater effort to find her. Don't sell yourself short. There are lots of women who are impressed by a powerful big man with a wonderful sense of humor and a kind heart. Many women like a man with confidence. Maybe you need to show that too. You just have to make sure to meet the woman who will appreciate you."

"Pa, you make it sound so easy."

"Oh, I know it's not easy. It may be very difficult. I worked very hard to get Elizabeth and Marie to like me. Neither of them fell in love with me at first sight."

"What about my Ma?"

"Hoss, I think she worked hard to get me. I was angry at the world right about that time and terribly discouraged. She came to me to help me and to help Adam. She was so caring and tender hearted. I couldn't help myself. I fell in love with her."

"Thanks, Pa. I guess maybe I was giving up too easy. I'll try to do what you said. And ifn I don't find her this Friday night, well there's church on Sunday and the picnic afterwards."

"That's the spirit, son."

"Pa, how about you. It's been a long time for you. How come you ain't doing what you told me to do?"

"I've got the family I want right now. If I fall in love, it's going to have to be someone like your mother who told me she loved me and convinced me to love her."

"There ain't too many women out there like that, Pa."

"No, there aren't, Hoss. Your mother was a crown jewel."

"So you really think ole Adam is falling in love?"

"I do. I think he's as surprised about it as she is. She certainly isn't like anyone he has been interested in before. I don't think he even understands the attraction. Sammy seems to be the only one who just accepts that it's meant to be. The innocence of children! They sometimes see things more clearly than we do."

"I'll go get Joe outta bed so we can have breakfast. Adam and Rachel must be almost done hitching up the team."

Well Adam and Rachel might have almost been done except Adam had taken the opportunity several times to kiss her. She didn't mind, and it took up quite a bit of time. Finally Adam pulled away from her to say they really ought to get busy with the harness or they would be late for breakfast.

"I don't think that was my fault. Someone keeps hugging me and then we start kissing and time just evaporates."

"Well you didn't seem to mind."

"Oh, not at all. I think I really like kissing."

Shaking his head, Adam hooked up the last of the harness and moved to lead the horse out of the stable. He tied the lead rope to the corral fence and offered his arm to Rachel so that was how they entered the house. Everyone else was at the table waiting for them to arrive. Hoss had to smile seeing the looks the two of them gave each other as they sat down. Adam looked like a guilty schoolboy and Rachel was blushing so all three men had some idea of what had delayed the two of them. Sammy was excited to go which meant that he needed to be told repeatedly to finish his breakfast and that meant it took longer to get going but the little boy just didn't understand that concept. As they rode into town, Sammy had his usual stream of questions barely waiting for an answer before he had the next question. At one point, Rachel had to ask.

"Is he extremely smart? I can picture you just like this when you were younger based on the stories your father tells."

"According to Pa, I was quite a bit like this, but I think Sammy may be a lot smarter than we are. He's reading at four and knows his basic numbers already."

"I can count to twenty! I counted all the horses in the corral when Uncle Joe showed me the horses, and there were fifteen there."

Both Rachel and Adam had seen examples like that previously. "I wonder what school will be like for him. He's going to be well ahead of children his age. That can be a problem."

"It sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"Yes and no. When I first went to school, it was sporadic so I was ahead in some things and behind in others. Eventually when my schooling was more regular after they opened a school here, I did get ahead, but then I went to college and found I was behind in some things again and had to catch up."

"I only got to go to school when my younger brothers were old enough to go. Before that, I had to stay home and take care of them so Mama could help Papa with the farm work. I did love school though even though it was only for a couple of years. I learned mostly on my own by reading books. That's the one thing I got from school that was very important. I'm not very good with the rest of it."

"It's never too late to learn. When Sammy goes to school, you can help him with his schoolwork, and learn as he does."

"You plan to have me working with Sammy even when he goes to school?"

"Yes, I don't want to take you away from him. He needs you."

Rachel grew quiet then, and Adam didn't know why. What she was wondering was if his interest in her was to help his son and not so much a romantic desire on his part. She had to wonder if he wanted her because she would be a good mother for Sammy or if he wanted her as a wife. She loved Sammy like a son, but she loved Adam in an entirely different way. She wondered what his love for her was or if it even was love."

With Sammy once again dominating the conversation, they continued to town and Adam pulled the team up in front of Doctor Martin's office. Jumping down he came around to help Rachel down and then Sammy. They walked into the office, and Paul was sipping coffee and reading a medical journal.

"Good morning, Adam. And whom do we have here? This must be Sammy, but he seems a foot taller than the first time I saw him."

Standing taller with the comment, Sammy started looking around the office at everything that was there. He was amazed at the skeleton in the corner. "How did you get the bones?"

"Paul, don't answer him. It won't stop at that question, and I want you to see if you can help Rachel."

"Oh, and what's the problem, Rachel?" Paul had turned to her with his usual kindly concern.

"I was born with a weak leg. It was kind of twisted, I guess. At least that's what my parents told me. I wore a brace when I was young, but now I make do with a cane. Adam wonders if you can do something for me or get me a new brace to wear."

"Well let's go into the examination room so I can take a look."

About an hour later, Paul and Rachel emerged. Paul was smiling and Rachel looked thoughtful. "I've told Rachel what I think, and she said I can tell you what I found. Rachel should never have worn that brace. It kept her leg weak so it never developed as it should have. I know her doctor thought he was sparing her pain and suffering, but in the long run, it may have caused more. So for now at least, I don't want her in a brace. I want her to walk without the cane as much as she can. She needs to put more weight on that leg and see if the muscles will develop more than they have. Now I know that leg will likely never be as strong as the other, but with some effort, in a year or two, she probably won't need that cane except for long walks or at the end of the day when her leg muscles may be fatigued."

"So she may never need a brace?"

"I didn't say that. As she gets older, that leg may become weak and need to be braced. However if she'll do as I ask, that could be twenty or thirty years from now. I've also asked her to do something that will not seem natural and will be very difficult to do. I don't want her to limp. It puts too much pressure on the other leg and can cause back problems too. It would be better if she took smaller steps instead of limping. At first those steps might be very small but as the leg gets stronger, her walk will just be very much like any lady."

Thanking Paul, Adam left the office with Rachel and Sammy. He walked slowly mindful of the advice they had received. As they walked past a dress shop, Adam paused. Rachel looked at him wondering why he had stopped.

"I have an important question for you. Will you go to the dance on Friday with me?"

"Adam, I can't dance. I usually do refreshments."

"With my lead, I was hoping we could try a couple of the slow dances."

"I suppose that would be all right to try."

"Then let's go in here so you can pick out a dress for the dance."

"Adam, I don't need a store-bought dress. I can wear one I already have. And don't try to tell me that Ponderosa employees get their clothes too."

"No, it's your birthday present." At her surprised look, Adam was smug. "Sammy let the cat out of the bag. I know it's your birthday on Friday. You should know by now never to tell him a secret. He manages to let it out without really saying it."

After Rachel agreed to accompany him to the dance, picked out a dress, and had it wrapped, Adam took it to the wagon and they drove to the mercantile. He dropped off the list of supplies they wanted, had just opened. It served Italian food, and Adam was anxious to try it. Sammy was a little leery of the food, but found that he liked the pasta very much. Once again there were those disapproving looks from some people and there were now speculative and somewhat displeased looks too with Rachel in Adam's company. Adam suspected there would be more shocks for the nosy people when Rachel was on his arm for the dance on Friday.

On the day of the dance, Ben had a question for Adam. "Do you love her?" Adam was in one of rare moods when he was willing to talk, and Ben was taking advantage.

"Pa, I think so, but I haven't done very well in that department. I thought I loved Laura and that she loved me, but that didn't work out. I do know that when Rachel isn't with me, I wish she was. When I sleep at night, she's in my dreams. When I hear her laugh, I smile even if I don't know why she's laughing. Now why are you asking the question? Not that I haven't been asking myself the same thing."

"Because from what I can tell, she loves you. I do like her very much, and I would hate to see her hurt."

"Pa, I wouldn't hurt her."

"Oh, I know, not intentionally, but from what you have told me, she's very naive, and you're the first man with whom she's ever been in a romantic relationship. If it doesn't work out for the two of you, she could be very hurt."

"She has pulled back a little from me this week. I don't know why. I'm hoping that when we're going to the dance later, she'll talk with me. I don't think I did anything wrong, but maybe she's changed her mind about me."

"When did you get that feeling about her pulling back from you?"

"Monday, after we were in town. Maybe I pushed her too hard about her leg, but I only wanted what was best for her."

"You bought her a dress too, didn't you?"

"That was for her birthday."

"Maybe with the picnic, the visit to see Paul, then the dress, and the invitation to the dance, it was too much for her with it all happening so fast."

"Maybe. We need to talk. Sammy seems all right with us being gone tonight. I hope it's not too much of an imposition to watch over him tonight?"

Ben smiled as if that was the stupidest question he had heard in some time. Adam looked down a little sheepishly. It still amazed him how proud his father was of his grandson with no regard for how he got there. Ben had said just once that what had happened was not Sammy's responsibility so why should he suffer any indignity because of it. What he thought of Adam's actions he kept to himself. Hoss and Joe came in then saying that the carriage was ready, but that they were leaving because they wanted to be at the dance when it started. Adam thanked them and waited for Rachel to come out of the bedroom. It seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time. Finally she came out, but seemed nervous.

"Now, are you ready to go to that dance?"

Taking a deep breath and doing her best to smile, Rachel nodded. After Adam and Rachel left the house, Sammy came out of the kitchen where he had been pestering Hop Sing with questions. Hop Sing didn't mind too much because it reminded him of Adam as a boy although this one was younger and asked even more questions. Sammy had a few for his grandfather too.

"Are you ready to play checkers with me? Hoss taught me how. He let me win, I think. Will you let me win too?"

"The first game. After that, you're going to have to earn it." The checkers marathon had begun. Ben won every game after the first one, but had to work for some of those wins. Sammy was picking up the strategy of the game very quickly.

On the road to town, Rachel was picking up the game of love rather well too. She sat next to Adam and put her arm through his and leaned against his shoulder. If she could have seen him, she would have seen him grin when she did that. She did think she could tell he was pleased by the way he talked as he drove them to town. He had asked her not to bring her cane, but she had said her leg was already tired and she was probably going to need it at some point. She had made a little progress but not much. She walked carefully and slowly without her cane and was trying to train herself not to favor her weak leg, but her leg tired quickly. It was difficult after so many years. Doctor Martin had told her it would be and might take months or even a year before there was significant improvement. She did want to walk more like other people so she did her best.

When they arrived at the dance, Adam walked slowly with Rachel so she could walk without a limp. When they got inside, the two of them sat for the first few dances, and then it was time for a slow dance. Adam stood and put out his hand to invite Rachel to dance. He could see how frightened she was.

"We'll stay near the chairs here, and I'll do my best not to tax your leg too much."

Reassured, Rachel agreed, and Adam and Rachel danced their first dance. He put his arm around her waist and had her put her hands on his shoulders. "Lean on me as much as you need to and follow my lead. I'll try to turn so that your good leg takes the pressure. Ready?" Rachel was ready for the dance, but what she wasn't ready for was how she felt with Adam's body pressed against hers. She knew it was necessary because of her weak leg, but it made her very warm. Hoss and Joe danced by and offered their encouragement. When the dance ended, Rachel grinned broadly.

"My first dance!"

"You never danced with anyone before?"

"No, I never could. Oh, Adam, thank you. That was wonderful, but can we sit for a bit? That was a lot of work, and I don't want my leg to give out. We seem to be the center of a lot of attention already. I don't want to give them a spectacle by falling flat on my face."

Moving to sit where they had before, Adam was addressed by one of the women he had escorted to dances in the past. She asked if he would like to dance with someone who could dance all the dances and not have to sit in the chairs while everyone else had fun. He stood up angrily and told her he was with a wonderful woman and enjoyed her company very much. She stomped away but not without a nasty comment.

"Is she good in bed? I guess her being a cripple wouldn't stop you there."

"You witch!"

The woman's brothers and her previous dance partners took offense at that statement. One took a swing at Adam, and soon there was a brawl with Adam getting the worst of it until Hoss and Joe waded in to help. Some cooler heads prevailed as some of the men separated the combatants before Roy Coffee could arrive and put an end to the dance after only a few dances. Adam, Hoss, and Joe were shoved outside and the others were shoved to the opposite side of the room. Rachel took her cane and followed the Cartwrights outside and was amazed to find Hoss and Joe rather proud of what they had done.

"Joe, you may have knocked that skinny one down, but I threw three of em clean across the table that was right there. Those boys are gonna be sprouting some mighty fine bruises."

"Yeah, too bad we couldn't hit a woman. That Lindsay Martin deserved a good thrashing for what she said."

Adam only said he was sorry when Rachel got there. He asked her if she would sit outside with him for a bit. Hoss and Joe got the hint and went back inside. Hoss thought he might have trouble getting dance partners after the brawl but found several ladies who thought he had done the right thing and one especially was impressed with his fighting ability and willingness to help his brother and stand up for Rachel. He ended up dancing at least six dances with Aubrey once they got together.

Outside, Adam and Rachel had a chance to talk. He had walked with her to a bench beneath a tree. Sitting in the dark shadows side by side, they finally could talk without fear of interruption.

"Adam, you can't start a fight or react every time someone insults me or calls me a cripple."

"I can try. I won't let anyone refer to you in such a derogatory way."

"Can you tell me why it upsets you so much? I've heard insults like that for most of my life. I guess they don't bother me as much as they used to."

"But they do bother you, and I want only the best for you. I think about you all the time. I wanted to talk with you tonight to see why you had pulled away from me this week. Sunday and Monday were so nice, and then you were rather withdrawn."

Thinking for just a moment, Rachel decided the truth was the best way to go. "I've been worried since you said you would keep me around to help with Sammy even when he was old enough to go to school. You said you wouldn't take me away from him because he needs me. I wanted you to need me too."

"Need you? I think I love you. It's wonderful that Sammy loves you and that you work so well with him, but I want you as a woman not as a mother to my son although they actually do end up being a package deal."

Nodding in a combination of surprise and relief at his declaration, Rachel also looked almost scared. "I think I love you too. I'm so sorry if I upset you, but I've never been in love before and I don't know what is expected of me. I don't know what you want me to do or say. It's all very difficult."

About to speak, Adam stopped and smiled. "You're in love with me?"

"Yes, I think so. I can't help it. I don't know why, but from the first time I met you, there was something about you. The more I saw of you, the more I wanted to be with you. When you kissed me, then I thought it must be love because I want you to do that all the time."

"Sweetheart, I do think I love you. I wasn't so sure you loved me, but as much as I understand about love, I love you."

"Adam, I have to tell you something." A little worried, Adam waited. "Love is very complicated. You're going to have to explain it to me."

"Sweetheart, if I understood it any better, I'd probably be married by now with a bunch of children running around. Don't ask me to explain it. I'm not any better at it than you are. We're both going to be learning something together."

Leaning forward then, Adam kissed Rachel softly and then with increasing intensity. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him as her arms went around his neck. He stroked his hands up and down her back and when she leaned back a little to catch her breath, he kissed his way down her neck and down the neckline of the dress he had gifted to her. She felt her body stir in ways it never had. He kissed his way up the other side of her neckline and then her neck before returning to her lips. All the while his hand gently caressed her back. With difficulty, he pulled away from her and then hugged her.

"Sweetheart, you're going to have to tell me to stop when I do too much."

"But I don't want you to stop. I waited so long to love a man, I want you to show me all you know about love."

"Well I'm afraid that what I'm feeling right now is a lot more lust than love. I want you very much, but I shouldn't be taking liberties like I have."

"Are you taking liberties if I want you to do those things and more?"

"You are learning very fast. I knew you were smart. We should head for home. I don't want to have anything else start up inside, and we had our dance. Next time when your leg is stronger, maybe we can have two or three dances together."

"I would like that. Maybe even four?"

"And I would like that." Standing, Adam offered his arm for support and slowly they walked to the carriage. As Adam drove the carriage, they talked and laughed. Then after about a half hour, Rachel leaned into him for a kiss. Adam pulled the carriage to the side of the road, embraced her, and began kissing her passionately. When they heard horses approaching, Adam sat up and put his right leg up on the front of the carriage. One horse prancing lightly and one pounding led him to believe he knew who was riding up to them in the moonlight.

"Hey, brother, we wondered if you needed any help. Howdy, Miss Rachel. Well ifn you don't need any help, we'll be on our way." With a snicker from Joe that was joined by Hoss' guffaw, the two brothers rode for home.

"We should get going. It's going to be late enough when we get back."

By the time Adam and Rachel got to the house, Hoss was telling Ben all about Aubrey.

"She said she likes a man who'll stand up for his family and against prejudice and snobbery. She said she'll be looking for me at the picnic on Sunday, and she'll have a basket just for us. Who woulda thought getting in a good fight could get me a lady." Ben sat with his head down a bit. Just once he would like his sons to come home from a dance and tell him they had not been in a fight. He had to wonder what kind of reputation his sons had.

When Hoss saw Adam and Rachel, he had to tell them all about the woman he had met, Aubrey, and everything that had happened including a blow-by-blow description of their conversations. Adam smiled at Hoss' enthusiasm. Finally Rachel said she was tired and wanted to go to bed, and bid each of them good night but leaned down and gave Adam a kiss on the cheek as she passed him. Once her bedroom door closed, Ben looked at Adam. "Well?"

"We're good. Now I'm tired too, and I think I'll head to bed." Hoss excused himself too and walked up the stairs with Adam. They both had some things they needed to contemplate and about which to dream.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Pa, we can't take a honeymoon so far from home. Sammy would be distraught. He's a lot better now about me being gone at night or during the day, but if I was gone for two weeks, I'm worried at how badly that might affect him." Adam had reconciled himself to the idea that after his upcoming wedding to Rachel, they would be spending their wedding night and honeymoon on the Ponderosa.

"I understand what you're saying, but I have a proposition for you. I know how much you want to be able to take Rachel to San Francisco and to see the ocean after your wedding. Hoss and I were going to go on a trip there next week to finish up some contracts with the railroad. I thought perhaps you would come along instead. You and Rachel can have a room, and Sammy can stay with me in another room. You can help with the contracts and then we can have an extended stay so you can show your family the sights."

"But what about Hoss? He likes to travel with you on these trips."

"Well, son, for some reason, he would like to stay at home these days, and hopes that you will accept my idea." Ben had a smirk that was quite readable. Hoss was enjoying Miss Aubrey's company quite a bit these days, and didn't want to go to San Francisco. He had wholeheartedly endorsed Ben asking Adam to go.

"Then I think that might be a wonderful idea. I'll talk with Rachel about it this evening." In just a few days, Adam and Rachel were going to be married.

Only a month earlier, Adam had ridden to the Miller farm to speak with Rachel's father and request Rachel's hand in marriage. The Millers had been shocked that the handsome, wealthy rancher wanted to marry their daughter, but after speaking with Adam for just a short time, his obvious love for her and his respect for her showed strongly. Mrs. Miller cried when her husband welcomed Adam to the family. Adam invited the Millers to stay on the Ponderosa and asked if they could arrive the day before the wedding to get settled into their rooms and have a chance to visit with his family before the big day. He told them he would let them know when the marriage would take place.

When Adam had returned home from that quest, he had asked to speak with Rachel privately that evening. She had agreed and walked with Adam to the garden behind the house. Once there, they sat on the bench wrapped together in an embrace. Adam seemed rather nervous but happy at the same time, and Rachel wondered what the talk would be. Adam kissed her lightly, and then with his hands at her waist he lifted her to sit on his lap.

"So are you going to tell me what the big secret is? You said on the way here that you had some news."

"I do, but I have a question for you first." Reaching in his pocket, Adam pulled out a ring and looked into Rachel's eyes.

"Will you marry me? Will you be by my side for the rest of my life?"

Stunned by the suddenness of the proposal but not surprised that it had happened, Rachel took only a moment before responding. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her for a kiss. "Yes, Adam, yes. I would love to be your wife, and be by your side for the rest of our lives." She tried to move so she could sit by him to talk but then grimaced.

Adam saw and suspected the cause. "Your leg is hurting, isn't it? You've been doing too much. You should rest that leg more." He scooped Rachel up in his arms and set her back on the bench. As Adam set her gently down, he told her to wait as he went inside to get a blanket. When he returned, he spread the blanket out and had her rest leg on it as he removed her shoe and stocking. She smiled for she suspected this would work out like it usually did. Adam would talk to her as he massaged her calf muscle and then her thigh muscles. He would start sliding his hands up and down her leg to stimulate the muscles as well as to help them relax. It would start to overwhelm him though as his ministrations tended to make both of them very romantic. Soon he would kiss her and caress her as he held her in his arms. Rachel felt sensations she had never felt before she had known Adam. He closed his mouth over hers as his tongue plunged into her mouth as he did his best to hold back but it was getting more and more difficult.

"Adam, what will our wedding night be like? I like kissing and your touch makes me want to hold you and never let go, but I don't know much about anything else."

"We'll do this and more. I want to show you so much and teach you so much, but you have to learn to tell me no when it's too much."

"But Adam, I want you to do more, not less."

Adam buried his face against her bosom when she said that. He wanted to take her right there, but he wouldn't although apparently she did not understand how difficult it was for him not to do just that. "Sweetheart, I hope you'll marry me soon though. Then we can do a lot more and more often too."

"Don't you have to ask my father's permission? Isn't that how it's done?"

"I asked your father this morning. He said yes. Your mother cried, and they'll be here for the wedding. We just have to tell them when."

"How soon can we get married then?"

"I think a month would be enough time. You can get a dress ready, and we can invite people. Hop Sing can prepare a wedding dinner and a cake."

So they had decided on a month. Ben was happy when they told him, and Hoss and Joe offered congratulations. Preparations were made, and now the wedding was only two days away. Rachel had gone into town to get her dress with Hoss driving her. She said Adam was not supposed to see the dress before the wedding, and Hoss said he didn't mind driving her in at all which got smirks from his brothers and his father. Aubrey would likely keep him busy while Rachel was getting her dress and trying it on. When she got home, Adam asked to speak with her privately.

"The last time you looked me like that and asked to speak privately, you asked me to marry you. What's your big question this time?"

So Adam explained what his father had suggested. Much like with his wedding proposal, Rachel kissed him for an answer. Only this time, her leg was stronger and didn't require Adam to massage it. She actually regretted a little that her leg was less sore now when she made herself walk without her cane. If she tried to do too much, it still hurt, and often in the evenings, she used the cane to take the pressure off her leg, but she knew it was getting stronger if slowly. But Adam didn't massage her leg as often.

"Would you like to massage my leg muscles?"

"Are they sore?"

"No, I just like it when you do that."

Pulling her into an embrace and a kiss, Adam knew he was being teased, but it didn't help. He needed a cold bath or a dip in an icy stream. Rachel's leg was getting stronger albeit slowly. Adam had hoped she could walk down the stairs on her father's arm for their wedding, but Rachel had declined. "What if I fall? My leg is stronger but stairs might be too much especially as I think I'll probably be quite nervous. I would rather just walk across the room. I know I can do that." So the plan was to set up the room so that Rachel could walk across to Adam who would stand near the staircase. The minister could stand on the first step for the wedding ceremony. It was going to be a small wedding, as Rachel didn't want a large one.

The next day they welcomed Rachel's family to the Ponderosa. Her parents were put in one guest room and her two brothers in the other. That night after dinner and lots of sharing of family stories, Rachel's mother decided it was time to have that mother-daughter talk that was traditional the night before the wedding. It was time for her to tell Rachel what to expect from a man.

"Rachel, you have to just do what the man says. It's the way of marriage according to the Bible. Now he seems like a nice man and won't hurt you on purpose, but there can be a lot of pain. You just grin and bear it. It doesn't last long, and later you won't hardly notice that anything happened. Now if he does that a lot, you're going to be having some babies. If you get with child, we can talk some more."

"Mama, doesn't it ever feel good to be with a man?"

"Well, after a while, sometimes it can feel good, but lots of times he rushes and doesn't care how you feel so it can still hurt some."

"I don't think Adam would hurt me."

"It's just that being with a man can hurt. If he loves you, he won't do no more than he thinks he has to though. And of course you can get kissed and hugged and that feels good. Some women don't even have that and their men hit them."

"Adam would never hit me. He's always very gentle with me."

"That's good, but you gotta remember that he's courting you now so he's on his best behavior. Once you're married, well, then the men don't have to try so hard. Now you got any other questions. You should get some sleep cause you got a big day tomorrow. And then after that you got a ready made family with that son of his so you're gonna be real busy."

The next day, Adam had to take a lot of teasing from his brothers. He was a bit nervous, but he had to keep explaining to Sammy what was going to happen so that actually made him less nervous because he had something to do. Adam had not seen Rachel since the night before at dinner. During the evening, she had spent most of her time in her room with her mother. Ben had said women traditionally talked to their daughters the night before the wedding to tell them about what was expected of them. By that night, Adam wished he had been the one to explain to Rachel what to expect. But first they had the wedding and the celebration. Sammy stood next to Adam as he waited for his bride. When she walked out of the downstairs guest room, he was amazed. Her hair was curled and cascading, and her glasses had been banished for the day. She walked slowly and regally toward him.

"Papa, Rachel is really pretty."

To snickers in the crowd, Adam shushed Sammy but agreed with him too. When the ceremony was concluded, the minister told Adam he could kiss his bride. He did, and then Sammy tugged on his pants leg.

"I want to kiss Rachel too." So Adam picked him up in one arm and they each kissed Rachel on a cheek. That brought some tears to the eyes of people watching. The gathering was modest so Adam and Rachel were able to speak with everyone who had been invited. Finally guests began to depart, and furniture was moved back into place, and Hop Sing and his cousins cleaned up. Ben had a question for Sammy. "Do you want to kiss your Papa and Rachel good night, and then let me read some of that whale story to you?"

Sammy agreed and ran to Adam for a hug and a kiss. He was very tired because he was never up this late. Then he went to Rachel for a kiss. "If you married Papa, are you my new Mama now?"

"If you want me to be your Mama, I would be very honored."

Rushing toward Ben then, Sammy was excited. "Grandpa, I got two Mamas now. Papa said he had three but I got two. Hey Grandpa, did you know that Papa has a big pickle and can pee really far?"

"Sammy, what have I told you about telling stories about private things?"

"I'm sorry, Papa. I forgot."

Sammy's apology was almost lost as first Joe and then Hoss started laughing. Rachel's brothers thought it was hilarious too, but Adam was embarrassed and especially so when Rachel blushed, and then laughed as did her parents. Ben tried to hold back but there were too many people laughing, and he couldn't do it. There were no comments, and everyone excused himself or herself for the night. Soon Adam and Rachel were the only ones standing in the great room.

"I'm glad you didn't offer your opinion on that." Adam moved closed and kissed Rachel before whispering in her ear. "Now you can see if Sammy told the truth. Do you think your parents knew why you were blushing?"

Rachel hadn't thought about that but did then. Adam didn't give her too much time to contemplate that though as he picked her up and carried her to the guest room. It had been decided that they would spend their wedding night there. As Adam walked in, he kicked the door shut behind him and then sat on the bed with Rachel on his lap. She seemed very nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"Mama told me what to expect tonight, and it got me a bit scared."

"Rachel, I would never hurt you. We'll go as slowly as we need to. I want you to enjoy our wedding night as much as I'm sure I will."

Smiling then, Rachel began unbuttoning Adam's shirt. Finally she was going to be able to run her hands through all that curly hair.

As Adam pulled Rachel's shoes off, she lay back on the bed letting him take the lead. He reached up under her dress to pull off her stockings, and then he surprised her by pulling her pantaloons down and off. She looked surprised by that which made Adam smile.

"Sweetheart, you had to know that was going to happen."

"I did, but I thought my dress would be first."

"I'll help you with that next if you'll stand beside me."

As Rachel stood, Adam turned her away from him and began unbuttoning the line of buttons down the back of her dress. When he finished, he slid the dress down off her shoulders and began kissing her neck and shoulders as his hands slid around to the front and caressed her through her camisole and chemise. Finding that they inhibited his access too much, he slid his hands under them and tugged them up. Rachel raised her arms and found herself shivering a little standing naked next to the bed. Adam noticed and quickly stripped his shirt and pants off and pressed his warm body against hers as his hands began again to caress and touch her as he began caressing her more intimately than he had ever done.

Hoarse with desire, Adam murmured that they should slide under the covers. He pulled them back so Rachel could get in bed first and then he moved beside her. Adam told her what pleased him as he did his best to make her feel good. Then it was time to join together.

"Are you ready for me, sweetheart?"

Tensing up at the prospect of what came next, Rachel tried to relax as Adam coaxed her. Scared but wanting to please Adam as he had pleased her, and breathing shallowly and rapidly, Rachel could only nod. Adam moved over her and she gasped a little with some pain. He asked if that was all right, and Rachel could only nod. He asked if he should stop, and she pulled him to her. Afterwards, Adam rolled to her side and pulled her close to him.

"Mama was so wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"She said it would be painful, and if I just endured it, it would be over soon. There was a little pain, but my heaven there was a lot of feeling wonderful. Will it be that way every time?"

"It should be better. There shouldn't be any pain next time, and you won't be so scared and that will help too." They kissed and touched for a time until Adam asked her to spoon into him so they could get some sleep. They were sleeping soundly when there was a knock on the door in the early morning hours.

"Adam, I'm sorry, but Sammy is frightened and has to see you." Ben had awakened and thought he heard someone crying. He put on his robe and found Sammy lying on the floor in Adam's bedroom. He had asked him what was wrong and he said Adam was gone just like his Mama was gone. Ben tried to reassure him, but he was inconsolable. So he made the trip to the downstairs bedroom carrying a whimpering little boy and did what he never thought he would do.

Because Adam slept lightly, he heard the knock and his father's statement. He slipped out of bed quietly and pulled on his pants. He stepped out of the bedroom and Sammy almost leaped from Ben's arms to his father. Ben apologized but Adam reassured him that it was all right. He hugged Sammy.

Still sniffling but relaxing now that his father was holding him, Sammy choked out the words. "Papa, I was scared and you weren't there. Why are you in Mama Rachel's room?"

"Sammy, we're married now so we'll stay together at night."

"Can you stay together in your room so you aren't so far away?"

"We'll talk about that tomorrow. You know how difficult it is for Rachel to walk up and down stairs."

By then all three of them were upstairs again. Sammy asked if he could sleep in Adam's bed for the rest of the night so that's where Adam went to tuck him in. Ben reminded him that if he needed anything, he should know his grandpa was ready to help too. Calmed down and tired, Sammy fell asleep almost as soon as Adam tucked him in. Adam grabbed a few items before heading back downstairs. Ben saw what he had picked up and smiled as soon as he turned away from his son. Later as Adam slipped back into bed, Rachel asked where he had been. Then she noticed something different.

"You smell really good." That made her wake. "And you shaved."

"Yes, Sammy needed me to tuck him in, and I decided to take advantage of the situation."

Adam began kissing Rachel and they made love again with more passion than earlier as Rachel was no longer frightened.

The next morning, as everyone except Adam and Rachel gathered around the dining table that had been extended to its full length, Ben wondered if he should knock on the door to tell Adam that they were all sitting at the table just outside their door. Hop Sing brought in platters of food and told everyone to eat. When Ben asked if they should wake Adam and Rachel, Hop Sing had an answer.

"Number one son and Missy Rachel go for walk early. They eat breakfast. Now you eat."

As breakfast was wrapping up, Adam and Rachel walked in hand-in-hand. Ben had not seen Adam smile like that for a very long time. Rachel's mother saw her daughter blush but smile so much it was clear she was very joyful. Rachel's mother had seen a few other women who acted like that after they were married. Most were like her and didn't have a very satisfying physical relationship with their husbands. More than ever, Rachel's mother wondered what she was missing that could make her daughter and a few other women she had known smile like that. She supposed she might never find out, but she was very grateful that her daughter was so happy. She sipped her coffee and smiled a little enigmatic smile for only she knew why she was smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"You sure made my daughter happy. I can tell by the way she was smiling, that she's real pleased with ya."

Adam was helping Rachel's father harness their wagon for the trip back to their farm. Hop Sing had packed up a lot of things he had canned as well as some cheese because Hoss said they ought to give them some of that. There was some left over bread and cake from the wedding banquet too as well as some roasted beef. Adam was a little uncomfortable talking about Rachel with her father because he didn't know her father very well. Adam simply said he would do whatever he could to keep that smile on her face as much as he could.

"Her mother used to smile like that when we was courting. Once we got married, she didn't smile much except with the children."

After chatting with Rachel about the mother-daughter talk they had had the night before the wedding, Adam had some idea why Rachel's mother didn't smile much with her husband. What he didn't know was whether he ought to say anything to her father and even how to say it. He decided to do what he could. "I just ask Rachel what she likes, and then I try to do that for her."

"Well, I just try to do what I gotta do and not bother her no more than that. But maybe I ought to try what you said. You ask her, huh?"

"Ah, whenever we're together, I ask her what she likes, and then I try to do that."

"Well I don't hardly think she even likes being with me, but maybe ifn I was to do what she likes ifn she was to tell me, well then I reckon maybe she might like being with me at least a little. Shur would like to see her smile at me again someday."

Hoping to change the subject, Adam started to talk about traveling to San Francisco, and how Rachel and Sammy had never been out of Nevada, never had seen the ocean, and had never ridden on a train. Rachel's father said he had moved there from Illinois but had not done much of anything except farm since he had arrived with his wife. Soon they had the wagon hitched up and packed. Rachel and Sammy as well as the rest of the Cartwrights came outside to bid them goodbye.

The rest of the day was spent packing as Adam and Rachel would be traveling with Sammy and Ben to San Francisco. They planned to leave on Monday. All went well and Hoss gave them a ride to town to catch the stage. Ben and Adam had lost count of how often they had made this journey but Rachel's wide eyed wonder at the sights as well as Sammy's stream of questions about all of the things they were seeing for the first time reminded Ben and Adam of the beauty of where they lived. It had been awe inspiring to them once, and the trip reminded them to appreciate the beauty that was all around them. They switched to rail as soon as they could, and from Sacramento, took a paddlewheel steamer the rest of the way to San Francisco. Sammy had one question as they reached the city.

"Where did all these people come from?"

Laughing, Ben said Adam was going to hear that question in a different context within a few years, and he ought to prepare an answer. For the time being, Adam told him that they had all traveled there as the four of them had. They got a hackney to drive them to their hotel where they got adjoining rooms. Sammy was excited to be able to stand on the balcony and watch the street traffic below and look out over many of the buildings.

Rachel was excited about that but even more excited about being alone with Adam. They had only been alone together for two nights on the Ponderosa. Now they had a full week to share the nights with just the two of them. It was late, so after dinner, all four retired to their rooms to go to bed except Ben and Sammy fell asleep almost immediately while Adam and Rachel had time to make love. They were tired so the lovemaking was an abbreviated version of their wedding night. The next morning though, Adam awakened Rachel with soft kisses along her back and arm until he reached her neck, and she could not feign sleep any longer. He had known she was awake so he had teased her with ticklish kisses watching her skin get goose bumps until he kissed her neck and she succumbed to his ministrations until he had her begging him to please do more. He covered her mouth with his so that their sounds would not travel to the next room.

"That was a little mean."

"What? Kissing and touching you until you had so much pleasure you almost bit my tongue?"

"You know what I mean. You were tickling me and you knew it."

"I did enjoy that. I thought you did too."

Smiling then to let him know she was teasing back, Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck. "I did, but that means I can do it to you too, doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does. When were you planning on doing that to me?"

"I thought tonight might be a good time. Or maybe I'll just surprise you sometime when you least expect it."

"You have a little bit of a wicked streak in you. I like it."

Any more banter or loving was ended by a knock on the adjoining door. "Papa, is it time for breakfast yet?" Adam and Rachel could hear Ben shushing Sammy, but the mood was broken and it was time to get going. The plan was for Adam and Ben to have their meetings that day to free up the rest of the week. With plenty of paper, pencils, and books packed, Rachel and Sammy were planning a day in the room with lunch at the hotel restaurant. That evening, Adam had secured tickets to the theatre, and Ben would relax with Sammy. The following day, Ben had arranged for a tour of a ship, and that excited both Sammy and Rachel. If the weather permitted, Adam was planning to have all four of them have a picnic by the water. There were also shops and bakeries to visit. The week would be full of wonderful experiences for Rachel and Sammy. Ben and Adam had done all of these things many times before but seeing them through the eyes of those who had never had the experiences made them fresh and wonderful for the two men too. Of course, there were endless questions to answer not only from Sammy, but now Rachel was thirsty for information on all that she was seeing.

The most fun the four of them had was probably on the picnic on the shores of San Francisco Bay. Adam told Sammy to taste the water by sticking his finger in it and then putting it in his mouth. Rachel did the same and both ended up with the same wide-eyed look.

"It's salty, Papa. Why is the water salty?"

So Adam had done his best to explain how oceans were salty but so was Great Salt Lake. Sammy wanted to go see that too, and Adam did say that they could take a trip there at some point. Adam even got Ben to take off his boots and wade in the water with all of them. There were creatures in small pools that most of them had never seen before, and they walked and explored for most of the day. By the end of the day on the ride back to the city and their hotel, Sammy was exhausted and fell asleep in Adam's arms. Ben offered to have dinner delivered to their room so that they could all relax.

"Adam, this has been one of the best days I've had in a long time. No worries or cares today and I could let myself relax and get to know the new members of my family even better. Thank you for including me."

"Pa, thank you. I'm glad you could be with us. We don't get these opportunities often enough, and I'm glad you agreed to come along. I remember times like this from when I was young. They stick with you better than the darker times."

"I'm glad to know that, son. I did think about declining so I wouldn't intrude on your family time, and I'm glad you insisted. Right now though, I do kind of wish I could be like Sammy and fall asleep so easily. Tonight is going to be an early night for me. Sammy looks like it could be that way for him too."

Ben's statements got a little grin from Adam who watched Rachel to see how she was reacting. She looked at him and yawned but then couldn't help the smile that slipped out to the news that they would have an uninterrupted evening after dinner. Sammy never made it through dinner as his head began drooping as soon as he began eating. Adam picked him up and tucked him into bed after removing just his son's boots and pants. When dinner was finished, Adam put the tray outside the room and bid his father good night. Once the adjoining door was closed, Adam looked at Rachel and asked what she wanted to do.

"I want to be in charge. You're always in charge, and I thought it would be nice to be in charge."

Raising his arms in mock surrender, Adam smiled. "Do what you will, sweetheart. I'm all yours for the evening."

Walking up slowly to Adam, Rachel began unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it out of his pants before sliding it down his shoulders and arms. Then she unbuckled his belt and opened his pants. Adam had a pretty good idea where this might be going because in the few times they had made love, he had undressed Rachel fully before shucking his clothing as quickly as possible but not before touching her to elicit a few responses. He was correct in that assumption. He tried to react and reach for her, but she pushed his arms back.

"Not yet. You said I was in charge, so everything is up to me now."

Then Rachel placed her hands on his shoulders and began pushing him back to the bed. Adam was grinning broadly at that point. Once he reached the bed, she pushed him so that he flopped back on the mattress as she hurriedly removed her clothing. Then she climbed onto the bed next to him and laid her body along his. She moved up to kiss him gliding across his lips softly before plunging her tongue into this mouth. He responded and tried to roll on his side, but Rachel pushed him back.

"Nope, you have to lie there and enjoy for a while as I have my fun."

Without any more warning than that, Adam predicted to himself what she would do next and was again correct. She kissed his body with kisses so light as to be ticklish. It was a delicious torment. Rachel felt powerful. She got to watch the expressions on Adam's face change. Then they made love until he gently slid her to his side and wrapped his arms around her. As they caught their breath and kissed, Rachel had one observation.

"It's a lot of work being in charge. Feel free to take over from now on."

"Certainly, sweetheart. Whatever you wish is my command." Then they slept spoon fashion until morning.

In the morning, it was time to pack and leave for home. As Ben strapped on his pistol, and then Adam walked into the room wearing his, Sammy asked the question he had already asked a number of times. "Mama said we should use words when we're angry. Why do you have a gun?"

"Sammy, I try to work out problems with words too. But sometimes there are snakes or dangerous animals, and words don't work with them. And sometimes there are dangerous people too who don't listen to words and could hurt you. My gun is to protect you and Rachel."

"Will you protect Grandpa too?"

"If necessary, I will, but Grandpa does a pretty good job of protecting himself."

"Will Grandpa protect you?"

"If necessary, he will."

"Papa, did you ever shoot someone?"

"Yes, Sammy, I did."

"Did they die?"

"Some did but not all."

"You shot more than one?"

"Yes, because I had to. It is a very serious thing to take a life. Sometimes it's necessary."

Then Sammy's four-year-old brain tried to understand what he had heard. He actually didn't, and that was why he repeated these questions so often. Adam saw the look of concentration on his face.

"Sammy, you're only four. When you're older, this may make more sense to you."

"I'm four and a half. Will I understand better when I'm five?"

"You might, but there's no need for you to grow up so fast. You can just have fun for a while yet."

The trip home was uneventful at first. Sammy had less questions because he had just seen all of these sights a week earlier. He did like watching the paddlewheel on the steamer especially from the top deck. He was fascinated by the train and very disappointed that they would make the last leg of the trip by stagecoach. He didn't like that mode of travel.

"Papa, I like riding horses with you. I like the steamboat very much. The train is dirty but it's fun. I don't like stagecoaches. They are too bumpy. And they go so slow. I want to go fast like on the train."

"For now, this is the most convenient way to go home. I don't care much for riding in stagecoaches either, but it's only for a couple of days. Now grab your bag and bring it to the driver so he can load it up."

Grumbling a little at not being able to change the situation, Sammy picked up his bag as instructed and began to move to the stagecoach. The driver told them the coach was full and one would have to ride up front with him. Because the other passengers were already on board, that left Adam as the choice to ride shotgun. He shrugged and offered Rachel and then Sammy help up into the coach.

As they traveled, Ben got an uneasy feeling about one of the passengers. He slouched in his seat at first with his hat pulled low, but then began checking out the window every few minutes. He also was constantly checking out Rachel even though she had been introduced as Adam's wife. When they made their first stop to change horses and get some water, Ben pulled Adam aside.

"Do you have access to that boot pistol you carry when we're in the city?"

"Yes, in my bag. Why?"

"I'm worried about one of the passengers. Things just don't seem right. I'm going to get the pocket pistol out of my luggage too if I can do it with no one noticing."

"I'll talk to the driver and alert him. Then we can act like we have to rearrange the luggage and I'll get both pistols out. Just stay close so I can get it to you."

With crime on the rise in San Francisco, both men usually had a firearm with them even when dressed more like they lived in the city. The guns were small caliber but would be adequate in close quarters. The fears Ben had were realized when they were only half a day from Virginia City. This was one of the more desolate stretches they had to travel, and two men rode out of trees and stopped the coach. The man inside drew his pistol so that none of the passengers would resist. He ordered them out of the coach but relieved Ben of his pistol in his holster first. The passengers joined Adam and the driver standing next to the coach. Both of them had been disarmed as well. Adam edged closer to Rachel and Sammy but was ordered to stand still.

"That's my wife and son. I just want to stand with them."

"Oh, I know who it is. I been riding with her for a coupla days now. She's a right nice looking little gal. Maybe she would like to come with us when we leave. I wouldn't mind her riding double with me."

Putting his hand on Adam's arm, Ben tried to calm him so he wouldn't do anything rash. He should have known better, but Adam was now in full protective lion mode. The men were ordered to hand over their wallets and watches. Rachel and another woman were ordered to hand over their wedding bands.

"No. Haven't you got enough already? This is my wedding ring." The robber who had been riding with them clubbed the other woman for saying that and then pulled the ring from her finger as she lay on the ground. Next he turned to Rachel who with a sad glance to Adam pulled her ring off her finger and handed it over. Then the man grabbed Rachel and pulled her to him for a kiss. She tried to resist but that only seemed to make him more determined. Adam went to step forward and one of the other robbers pointed a gun at him and then at Sammy.

"Your choice. I can shoot him or you can let us take her with us."

Pushing Sammy behind his left leg where the little boy wrapped his arms around Adam's leg and cried, Adam answered. "I don't like either of those options. My wife has a bad leg. She could fall down at any moment."

What happened next happened so fast even the people there had a difficult time describing everything to the sheriff when they had to give statements. Rachel understood Adam's hint when he emphasized the word fall. She let her body relax and fell to the ground. The man who had aimed a pistol at Sammy brought the gun up to shoot him, but Adam was faster pulling his pocket pistol from the waistband of his pants in back. Another robber then swung his pistol to shoot Adam but also was too slow. The man who had accosted Rachel went to pull his gun, but Ben shot him before he could do any harm. Two robbers were down wounded and one was dead. The two wounded men were shot in the abdomen and were in great pain. Amid the acrid smoke of gunpowder, Adam paid little heed to them as he gathered a screaming Sammy in his arms and then moved to Rachel who clutched him like a lifesaver in floodwaters. Ben and the driver collected firearms as the other two passengers saw to the woman with a head injury and then to the two wounded robbers.

"What are we going to do with em?" The driver wondered how to get all of his passengers in to town safely and yet couldn't just leave the two wounded men.

"They must have horses here somewhere. We can load the dead man up on top with the luggage and tie these two to their horses. They need medical care and the sooner we can get going, the better." Ever practical, Ben set out to find the horses he had mentioned. It didn't take long to find them tied behind some trees. Both wounded men were bandaged as well as they could be with the limited supplies available and then helped up on their horses. Once their hands were tied to the pommels, the horses were secured to the coach with lead ropes.

"Adam, we need to get going. Can you get Sammy and Rachel into the coach? I'll ride up top with the driver to give you more space."

It took some doing because Sammy didn't want to relinquish his hold on Adam, but with Rachel's help, they got him on board. Adam sat on one bench of the coach with Rachel on one side of him and a still sobbing Sammy on the other. The injured woman sat on the other side leaning against her husband. Both women had gotten their wedding rings back.

When the stage arrived in town, the passengers were greeted by Hoss and by Rachel's parents. Hoss had noticed Rachel's parents holding hands as they walked up to him at the stage depot. He thought it was cute that a couple of their age would still be holding hands not realizing that they had not done that for about twenty-five years. Adam's succinct advice had worked wonders it seemed. The smiles of the three were wiped out as they saw a body on top of the stage and two bloodied men riding behind. Sheriff Roy Coffee had just arrived as the stage pulled in and knew that he had some work to do.

"Ben, what's happened here?"

"Let's get everyone over to the doctor who needs it, and then we'll explain everything."

Rachel's parents and Hoss were very worried until they saw Ben helping Rachel out of the coach and then Adam climbed down awkwardly and still holding Sammy. Rachel rushed into her parents' arms and the three hugged silently, as Hoss walked up to Adam to ask if there was anything he could do.

"Thank you, Hoss. Just grab our luggage please. Sammy's got a grip on me so strong I can't pry him loose." Adam walked to where Rachel was still hugging her parents and crying softly. He put out one hand to touch her back and she turned to him and hugged him. She was still crying. Now her tears were more a relief than anything. Adam motioned to the stage depot and all five of them went inside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Coming down the street to visit with Hoss because he had told her he would be in town, Aubrey witnessed the arrival of the stage and saw how distraught Sammy and Rachel were. She went to the mercantile to pick up some hard candy, and then visited the restaurant next door to get two cool cloths. With supplies in hand, she headed to the stage depot. Once inside, she wrapped an arm around Rachel and had her sit. Then she handed a cool cloth to Adam for him to use to wipe Sammy's face. She set the bag of hard candy on the chair next to him. Then she used the other cool cloth to wipe Rachel's face as she kept an arm around her shoulders. Rachel leaned into Aubrey and relaxed a little. Rachel's mother and father stood watching and wondering what they could do.

In an effort to get Sammy's mind off the violence and bloodshed he had witnessed, Adam made a suggestion when Hoss returned to the group. "Sammy, why don't you take out the present you brought back for Uncle Hoss? I know he's going to like it very much."

"What? Oh, the stuff in the wooden box?"

Once Sammy had a quest in mind, he could be focused on that alone. Hoss offered to take him out to the carriage to get the item he wanted. About ten minutes later, Hoss and Sammy returned and each had smudges of chocolate at the corners of their lips. Adam had just finished telling Rachel's parents about what had happened.

"You couldn't wait?"

"Well, older brother, you did say that box was for me. Now Sammy and me didn't eat them all. We just sampled a couple. I was wondering if anyone in here would like a piece." Hoss opened the box and there were probably eight candies missing from the assortment. Adam smirked, but Rachel was more upset.

"You didn't let Sammy have that much candy, did you? He'll have an upset stomach."

"Now, little Sis, I know better than that. I only let him have one piece." At that, Hoss' eyes got very big and rolled up to look at the ceiling for now everyone knew who ate all the other pieces.

As soon as the laughter died down, Hoss served chocolates to everyone except Sammy. By the time Roy got there, they were all relaxed and talking about the trip to San Francisco and all the sights they had seen there.

"Ya, and Grandpa had his boots and socks off too, and he walked in the water with us until he stepped on something he shouldn't. Uncle Hoss, Grandpa said some bad words then, but then he said he was sorry. Papa teased him about that. He said whenever he said bad words, Grandpa threatened to wash his mouth out with soap. Are you gonna wash Grandpa's mouth out with soap?"

"No, no, Sammy, if it was gonna be done, well then, your Papa shoulda done it, don't ya think?"

"Soap tastes really bad. I never want my mouth washed with soap. I'm never going to say a bad word. I don't think I know any bad words except the ones that Grandpa used."

Walking in with Roy, Ben heard that last sentence. He was a bit embarrassed, but had good news to change the subject abruptly. "Paul says he thinks both men will survive as long as they don't get a serious infection. They'll have a deputy with them until they're well enough to go to jail."

Ray was next with good news. "Now I got statements from Ben, Charley, and the Robertsons. Adam, ifn you'd like ta take your family home, that would be just fine. I don't really need statements from you and Rachel. Comes time for the trial, I'll be expecting you to testify to what happened. Now if you can excuse me, I told the Robertsons that I would walk to their home with them. They're new to Virginia City and never experienced anything like this before."

"Sheriff Roy, do I have to do that testify thing?"

"No, Sammy, you have to be older, say about seven, before you would be expected to do that. No, your parents and grandpa can handle it just fine." Tipping his hat, Roy left.

By that time, Rachel had gotten her composure back. Never having witnessed a shootout nor anyone being wounded or killed, she had been as shocked as Sammy. She knew things like that happened but also realized that being a Cartwright had made her a target. Quietly so as not to upset Sammy, she had a question for Adam.

"How do you live with it?"

"With what?"

"The violence, the threat to your family. Today was the first time I realized that people would go after us because of the family wealth. I never thought about that before. Now I will worry more about Sammy and what could happen."

"We try to be careful and alert. That's why we seldom walk out of the house without being armed. It's why we now send two people into town for the payroll or any time we need cash. We do what we can and trust that it's enough. We can't spend our lives worrying about what other people will do."

"That's why you wanted to teach me to shoot." Seeing the look Adam had, Rachel knew she needed to explain more. "I never saw the reasons for that as clearly as I do now. I know you told me, but it just isn't the same as experiencing it. I felt so helpless and afraid. I thought there was no way to avoid doing what those men wanted. I was afraid that you would do something and get shot."

"Pa and I were ready for them."

"Yes, and perhaps in the future, you could share that kind of information with me. I would have been less terrified if I had known." Rachel was a bit irritated at being kept in the dark.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. I will tell you everything or as much as possible in the future. Now how about if we invite your parents and everyone to have lunch with us. They came a long way to welcome you home, and they haven't had much of a chance to talk with you. If you're feeling up to it, we could give everyone a chance to converse."

So Adam led his family to the new restaurant. Sammy was happy to be able to dig into some pasta again, and for Rachel's parents, it was a rare treat. They never had money to indulge in what to them was quite an extravagance. At dinner, Ben asked Rachel's parents what they produced on the farm. Previous conversations had been about the Ponderosa but little had been said about their farm.

"We mostly grow vegetables and raise chickens and pigs. Then we sell what we can over to Carson City most of the time."

"Well, August, would you be willing to make deliveries to the Ponderosa. We always seem to run short of vegetables as well as bacon and ham. It would be a lot less work for our cook if we could get more of those items."

"Ben, are you sure? Cause we could shur use the business. There's a lot of competition in Carson City."

"I'm sure, and by the way Hoss is looking, he can't wait to find out how good your bacon and ham is. When could you make the first delivery?"

"We got some in the back of the wagon right now. We was gonna see if the stores or restaurants here wanted any as long as we were making the trip anyway."

"We could use a delivery per week if that works out for you."

"Oh, yes, that would be wonderful. We could sure use a steady income like that."

"Now, would you always prefer cash or would you be willing to trade for a couple of cows on occasion?"

"Oh, either one would be great. Thank you, Ben. Thank you." August turned to his wife. "Marcella, we're gonna be seeing our daughter a lot more than you was thinking. Once a week, we're gonna be making deliveries." The look on Marcella's face let everyone know that she thought that was the best part of the bargain. Life had begun to look so much rosier since Rachel had met Adam.

Rachel saw how happy her parents were and smiled at Sammy who now had a red ring around his mouth from the sauce on his pasta. She reached for Adam's hand and got a smile from him too. Life had turned around so much for her in the previous few months that she could hardly believe it. It was like a fairy tale, but even better for it was real. Her reverie was interrupted when Hoss stood with his box of chocolates and asked Aubrey if he could walk her home before the family left for the Ponderosa. Once they were out the door, Adam leaned back in the chair sporting one of his classic smirks.

"Well my raven haired, green eyed beauty, we should order dessert and coffee because it could be a while before Hoss returns."

Adam's prediction was correct. Hoss seemed to lose all sense of time when he was with Aubrey. He didn't fully realize it yet, but he was falling in love with her. After August and Marcella left, Rachel asked about Aubrey.

"I don't know much about her, but she was so helpful today. It was like she knew just what to do and what we needed. That cool cloth and arm around my shoulder were perfect."

"From what I remember about her, she has helped Doctor Martin out on occasion as a nurse when he had patients who needed care around the clock. Pa, do you know anything else about her? I'm not very familiar with her family."

"They're new in town. They got here sometime in the last year. Her father opened that new jewelry shop and by all accounts is doing very well making custom pieces. I'm afraid that other than seeing them in church on Sunday, I know nothing else about them. I suppose if Hoss is getting serious about Aubrey, we ought to make an effort to meet them."

Excusing herself to take care of personal concerns, Rachel left with Sammy who needed to be cleaned up too.

"Perhaps I ought to check out the shop. There might be something I can get for Rachel. She's not very interested in modern designs. When we were in San Francisco, I tried to see what she might like in the shops there so I could get something for her, but she actually didn't find anything she liked. I'm thinking that perhaps a classical design might be more to her liking."

"Adam, from what I can tell, she is very interested in nature. You might consider that in anything you're thinking of designing. It could be modern but intrigue her with a natural element."

Looking at his father with admiration, Adam had no snappy comeback. "Thank you. You do have a way of getting to the heart of the matter. I like modern design, but Rachel likes nature. I can certainly work with that. I'm going to sketch out a few designs and then visit the jewelry shop."

Seeing the excitement in Adam's eyes over having a project, Ben tried to think of things on the Ponderosa on which he could use those skills. It would keep him busy and hopefully keep at bay that wanderlust that seemed to strike him the hardest when he was trapped at home by the winter snows. He remembered how unhappy he had been the previous winter, and thanked God whenever he thought of it for sending Sammy and then Rachel to them. Without them, Adam would likely be somewhere else in the world.

When Hoss arrived back at the restaurant, all four were waiting patiently for him. Hoss apologized profusely for making them wait, but the smile he had said he wasn't that sorry about it. Adam knew he would be teasing him about that later. As they drove to the Ponderosa, Adam expected the usual litany of questions from Sammy, but he was quiet for nearly half the ride. Finally he was ready to ask the question that had been bothering him the most.

"Papa, if that man shot me, would I be like Mama, and have to be buried in a box in the ground?"

"Sammy, Grandpa and I would never have let that man shoot you. It's our job to protect the family."

"So you and Grandpa, saved my life? And you saved Rachel too?"

"Yes, sadly we had to shoot three men to do it, but sometimes that's necessary."

With a quiet "Oh", Sammy got back to thinking. There were many strange things to which he had to adjust since he had come to the Ponderosa, but men wearing guns was probably the biggest one. He was beginning to understand it though. After another short interval, he had another question. "When you teach Mama to shoot, will you teach me?"

"No, Sammy, you're too young."

"How old do you have to be to shoot someone?"

That question made Adam pause. "Sammy, teaching someone to shoot is not so they can shoot someone. It is necessary out here to defend yourself, and often if people know you can do that, they won't threaten you. Those men today took away our pistols so they thought we were helpless and they could do whatever they wanted. That was their big mistake. There are other dangers out here such as snakes and wild animals that could be a danger, and sometimes we hunt animals that we can eat. Shooting a person is only done when there is no other choice."

"You mean like that man who was mean to Mama Rachel? He took out his gun after you shot those two men. Then Grandpa shot him."

"Yes, he could have surrendered, but he chose to fight. So then Grandpa had no choice." Adam hadn't realized until then that Sammy had seen everything. He had thought he was hiding behind his leg, but apparently was watching too. There were probably going to be some bad dreams for his son because of this. Ben drew the same conclusion.

"When Joe was small and saw his first shooting, the bad dreams only lasted a week. I should have talked to him more like you're doing with Sammy and maybe things would have worked out better."

There was only one bad dream. Sammy asked Adam to stay with him and he did. He wrapped his arms around Sammy and slept beside him for the rest of that first night home. It seemed to be exactly what Sammy needed for he knew then that Adam was there to protect him. He felt safe again and slept well after that first night. Ben had walked by Sammy's open door in the morning and saw Sammy's curly head resting in the crook of Adam's arm which reminded Ben of the times Little Joe had snuggled up next to Adam after Marie's death. Once again Ben was reminded of all the youth Adam had missed by being asked to do too much when he was too young. How different life was for Adam's son because even though he had lost a mother, he had his father and a new mother whom he loved very much. The day before had shown him how much both Sammy and Rachel depended on Adam's strength, and Adam seemed to enjoy being needed like that. Once again, Ben tried to think of things on the Ponderosa that could give Adam that feeling.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

On Sunday, Ben made an effort to meet Aubrey's parents after church services. They were very polite but a bit cool toward him and his family, and Ben had no idea why. Aubrey was very friendly but her parents were clearly uncomfortable when Hoss asked if Aubrey could ride with him after church although her father did not say no. Hoss and Aubrey left smiling and seemingly unaware of the awkward situation they had left behind although they were in fact hoping that Ben would be able to make a favorable impression on Aubrey's father. It didn't work. Ben invited them to come out to the Ponderosa sometime and they politely said they were too busy with the new business they had. Then as soon as it was socially acceptable, they said their goodbyes and were gone.

"Why doesn't that man like you, Grandpa?"

"Sammy, why would you ask that? He didn't say anything like that."

"Grandpa, he looked at you like he didn't like you. I love you, though."

"Thank you, Sammy. I love you very much, too." Picking Sammy up to give him a hug, Ben realized two things. One was that Sammy would soon be too big to pick up like that, and the other was that Sammy was probably correct in that Mr. Ransom didn't like him. It seemed the other members of the family had gotten the same impression, but no one even had a theory why he might feel that way. The discussion on the way home was mainly to wonder if Hoss had any idea about the veiled animosity.

At the lake, Hoss and Aubrey were talking about the situation.

"Pa's a real charmer, Aubrey. I'm sure he'll be able to bring your pa around."

"I don't know. Papa is pretty sure that he understands things just fine. Nothing that I've said about you or your family seems to have made any difference in his way of thinking. He just doesn't trust rich people, and especially after what happened with Adam because he's sure it's the same as what happened with my sister."

"I know that was bad, but Adam never even knew Regina had his child. She kept it a secret cause of how he uses his gun. She thought she could never accept that and wanted to protect their son from violence too."

"Oh, I know you told me that, but Papa just didn't accept that when I told him. He said rich people can control the truth and the law. He just doesn't believe that goodness and wealth can exist together. He's a very bitter man."

"I guess I can understand that a mite, but we ain't like folks in San Francisco. We would never do anything like that."

"Papa has already noticed how friendly your family is with Sheriff Coffee. To him, that's more proof that your family will cover up wrongdoing."

"Nah, we're friends with Roy because we want to keep the peace around here too. My brothers and me been on a bunch of posses. I sat on a jury once too. We want law and order as much as anybody and more than some."

"Oh, I know you do. When you stood up to those people at the dance who were being mean to Rachel, and such snobs about it too, I knew right then and there that you were one of the good people. Those nasty people thought she wasn't good enough for Adam, but all he saw was the wonderful woman she is and not the poor family or the limp. I just wish Papa would consent to you being invited to dinner. I know once he met you that he would like you, and it would probably help him to start getting over his anger and guilt."

"Now, Aubrey, what does he have to feel guilty about?"

"Hoss, he was so upset when Victoria told him what had happened. He said terrible things to her. Then when she died, he had no way to say he was sorry and that he loved her. He feels guilty thinking that maybe his harsh words contributed to her death. She moved out after that. I think she wanted to spare the family undue humiliation, and she did her best to protect us. Sadly I think it was the worst thing for her to do. It put her at greater risk of harm."

"They never caught the ones that done it?"

"No, although we all know who it was. He got away with it, and practically bragged about it saying as how he could do anything and nobody would ever be able to touch him. I guess he was right about that when your father is one of the wealthiest men in California and is a personal friend of the governor and all sorts of other important people."

"That's a terrible shame. I'm gonna talk to Pa and Adam and see if they have any ideas about that. They know a lot of important people in California too. Yeah, I can see your look. Some of em are rich too, but that don't mean they don't know right from wrong. Now I better get you on home so your parents aren't thinking any worse about me."

When Hoss pulled the carriage up in front of the Ransom home, August and Marcella were sitting on the porch ostensibly enjoying the weather, but more likely anxious about their daughter's return. Hoss walked her to the porch after helping her from the carriage. He bid her parents a good day and left but concerned about the open relief on their faces that Aubrey was home safe and sound. They clearly had been worried, and Hoss didn't know how to alleviate their fears. He was doubly sure then that he needed to talk with his Pa and Adam. He was hoping they would have some ideas.

That evening after dinner, Hoss asked Adam and Ben if they would talk with him privately. Rachel quickly picked up on the hint and said she would take Sammy out to the stable to play with the kittens that had been discovered in the stable with their mother about a month earlier. Sammy loved the kittens so never picked up on the fact that he was being hustled out of the house. His curiosity would have been piqued if he had realized that he was being excluded from a conversation. Free to speak, Hoss laid out the sad story he had learned from Aubrey just recently once she trusted him enough to break the family confidence.

"Aubrey's sister Victoria got mixed up with Jack Lamb's oldest son Marcus. Now we already heard stories about him and some of the stuff he mighta been mixed up in, but this is the worst I ever heard about him. He courted Victoria and made her think he wanted ta marry her. She loved all the expensive gifts and the parties, but Aubrey said sometimes she would find her crying in her room. She never would say why she was so unhappy when to everyone, she seemed so happy. Seems that Marcus was exacting a price for his attentions and his gifts and threatened her if she said anything. That all changed when she found out she was with child. Not only did he deny being the father, he broke off his courtship and said he wouldn't be courting a woman who was sleeping around. Well with his family standing and such, that was the story that stuck."

Putting his hand on Hoss' shoulder, Adam was thankful about one thing at least. "Hoss, I'm glad you waited until Rachel was out of here before telling this story. She's going to be very upset when she finds out. I'll tell her when she had time to adjust to the news. She was pretty sheltered by her parents when she was growing up and doesn't know much about the seamier side of life."

Ben was more direct in his statement. "So that must be why Victoria did not join them in Virginia City and why they don't like us much. To them, the rich must seem very corrupt."

"Oh, that ain't the worst of it, Pa. Victoria was found strangled in the apartment she took. The only person ever seen visiting her there was Marcus, but he claimed to be out of the city on the day she was killed and had a three witnesses swear he was with them in Sacramento. Everything he had given her was gone, and so was any diary or letter or anything personal she had that might of linked him to her. Aubrey and her family believe that he wanted to make sure there was nothing that could tie him to her baby. He had a rich gal on his arm by then and couldn't afford the talk about him fathering a child with Victoria. Anyway, something musta happened and he decided to kill her."

"That's ghastly, Hoss. No wonder that family has some bitterness. Surely they don't think we're like that?"

"Pa, Adam fathered a child out of wedlock too. And the mother is dead. To the Ransoms, it seems that Adam probably had something to do with Regina's death. It's gonna take a lot to convince them otherwise."

Adam was offended that they would think something so awful about him without knowing him. "Regina died from tumors that ate her up from inside. How could I have had anything to do with that?"

"Adam, to them that's a story to cover the truth. And you both know how much gossip there is about us in town. All they had to do was ask around a bit, and they woulda heard a lot of bad stories about us."

Joe had been listening quietly. "For once, it's not the stories about me that got their attention. But Hoss, what could Adam and Pa do about this?"

"Well, I was getting to that. Pa, Adam, you know a lot of powerful people in California, and I know that Adam has some connections with some lawyers and others in the law. I was hoping that the two of you could do something about what happened to Victoria. Seems a terrible shame to have her murdered and no one held accountable for it."

Ben looked to Adam. "Seems like this might be something you're better suited to handle than me. You have more connections with lawyers and detectives than I do by far."

Thinking about it for a moment as his family waited for an answer, Adam ran through what he would do if he was in charge of such a goal to be achieved. "It's probably going to cost some money. Are the three of you willing to pay what could amount to several thousand dollars before it's done?"

Ben understood immediately but Hoss and Joe were confused and asked almost in unison. "Why?"

"The best way to do this is to investigate and present the authorities with a complete package of evidence and witnesses. I can hire a lawyer to handle it, but he'll need detectives to ferret out the evidence and talk to witnesses. We'll need to discredit the three who are his alibi too. I know the attorney general in California and can contact him with the story. He may be able to help, but with all the corruption they're fighting in that state, he's not likely going to have resources to help with a case that's over a year old. But I can ask what he needs, and then hand it over to him when it's ready."

"And then he'll get what's coming to him?" Hoss hoped that was true.

"No guarantees that he'll hang, but he'll get prison time at the very least. They can't bury an open and shut case. And it has to be that because he'll have the best lawyers money can buy trying to find holes in the case."

Joe was the first to chime in. "I say we go for it." When Ben and Hoss agreed, Adam said he would get started on it on Monday morning.

About that time, a sniffling Sammy came into the house with Rachel. "Papa, one of the kittens scratched me. It's bleeding and hurts."

Quickly looking at Sammy's arm and hand, Adam wrapped his handkerchief around the oozing scratches. "Let's get you into the kitchen. We can't have you getting cat scratch sickness, now can we."

Hop Sing knew what to do as soon as he saw the scratches. Little Joe had a tendency to get them, and once had developed blisters from the scratches. Ever since then, they had cleaned every cat or kitten scratch thoroughly to prevent anything worse from developing. Adam wet his handkerchief and gently cleaned the blood from Sammy's arm as Hop Sing got a solution ready to wash the tiny wounds.

"Now, Sammy, this is going to hurt a bit. I want you to be brave and strong."

"But, Papa, you said you would never hurt me. You promised."

"Sammy, I'm sorry, but this has to be done. It's like when I was shot in the gut and the doctor had to dig the bullet out. I would have died if he left the bullet in there. So he had to hurt me to help me. Do you understand?"

"You got shot in the gut? What's a gut?"

"My stomach. Luckily it wasn't too bad, but I was sick for quite a while." Adam hoped that the focus on his wound would distract Sammy from what Hop Sing was about to do.

"Do you have a scar?"

"Yes, and now I suppose you want to see it?" When Sammy nodded, Adam unbuttoned his shirt to show the ragged scar from the bullet wound courtesy of the Apache. Sammy reached out to touch it but flinched.

"Does it still hurt?"

"No, the doctor took good care of me so it's all healed up good as new."

At that point, Adam made sure he had a good grip on Sammy's upper arm because Hop Sing was about to pour the solution on Sammy's arm and hand. When he did, Sammy yelled as all three expected. Rachel moved in to take away the basin as Hop Sing dried the arm and applied salve. Sammy flinched, but Hop Sing assured him that the salve would take the pain away now that the wounds were clean.

"It does work. Mr. Hop, you are smart. Are you a doctor?"

"No, I humble servant, but should be doctor with all hurts around here. Now you sit still and I bandage. Then I have cookies for you."

Wearing his bandage like a sign of valor, Sammy marched out into the great room to show his grandfather and uncles his arm and hand. He had cookie crumbs on his chin and a big smile. "Papa said I was very brave. He's taking me to town with him tomorrow. He says he has business to do. Mama is coming too."

Ben smiled. For the first time, Sammy had referred to Rachel as Mama and not Mama Rachel. He was definitely getting attached to his stepmother. Adam and Rachel had followed Sammy from the kitchen and both heard too when Sammy referred to Rachel as simply Mama. Rachel got tears in her eyes. It was time then for Sammy to go to bed, and Adam went with him upstairs to make sure he cleaned up before bed because Hop Sing was not happy with the stains he sometimes left on the sheets from dirty hands.

Once Adam returned downstairs, he asked Rachel to sit with him and he related Aubrey's story of their family tragedy. As expected, she was quite upset to hear that story. She said that when they went into town the next day, she and Sammy would go visit Aubrey and bring her some of the canned goods that Hop Sing was famous for producing. The visit to town went much as expected, and then it was a waiting game to see if the lawyer and the detective could put together a case against Marcus Lamb.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

A week before Christmas, Hoss got the carriage ready for a ride to town. There was no snow on the roads, and the weather was mild. He was hoping that Aubrey would take a short ride with him. He wanted to court her but knew that her father would not yet consent to it. Aubrey was clear on that point. Hoss was still hoping to change their minds about him and his family. He hoped that what he brought them on this day would help. Adam had handed it to him the day before after arriving home with the mail. Hoss tucked his present in his coat and headed to town. When he knocked on the Ransom door, Mr. Ransom opened it with his usual dour look. Hoss stepped inside and when Aubrey and Marcella joined them in the parlor, Hoss said he had a Christmas present for all of them. He pulled his parcel from his coat and handed it to Mr. Ransom who looked at him and wondered what the joke was.

"It's a newspaper from California. How is that a present?"

"Take a look at the article in the bottom left corner and you'll see."

August Ransom could hardly stand as soon as he saw the small header: Marcus Lamb arrested and charged in year old murder. The article went on to say that the attorney general was assisting in the case and promised to try to get it in court as a capital case. There was a good chance that Marcus Lamb would hang, and if he didn't, he was likely to get twenty years to life in prison. The three thousand dollars Adam had paid out for lawyer's fees and the services of a detective agency had paid off. In addition, there were pending charges against officials who had apparently participated in a cover-up of the crime for substantial bribes. That was why Adam ended up paying only three thousand. Once that malfeasance was unearthed, it fit into the attorney general's campaign against corruption in his state, and his office had assumed a central role in the investigation.

"How? But what happened? How did this happen? He got away with it, but now he is arrested? How did this happen?"

Shocked, Mr. Ransom was overcome with emotions and did have to sit down. Marcella was crying and Aubrey had tears wetting her cheeks too.

"My Pa and brothers and me, well, we decided to hire a lawyer and some detectives to look into it to see if they could get enough of a case against him. It worked. He won't hurt no more women again. I'm real sorry nothing was ever done about him before he hurt your daughter, but at least she's got some justice now."

"You did this? You and your family? But they are rich people like you. Why would you help us against them?"

"We don't see it that way. We see it that there are good people and some bad people and others who should know better but do bad things sometimes. It ain't got nothing to do with money. It has got to do with what's inside a person. That's how we see it anyway. We ain't always had money neither. My Pa and Adam came out here with almost nothing. We built the Ponderosa with hard work and a lot of good decisions and maybe a bit of luck thrown in. The Good Lord mighta helped us out a time or two. Having the Ponderosa ain't changed the kind of people we are. We're the same people we were when we lived in a cabin with a dirt floor and ate beans for almost every meal there for a while. I'm sorry I talked so much, but judging us by our money just don't seem right. I'm so tired of hearing stories about them high and mighty Cartwrights. Nobody says that when they need our help."

"We have heard so many stories about you. We thought that you were just like the other rich people who took our daughter from us. I am sorry if we misjudged you."

"Papa, it isn't if. You should know now that the Cartwrights are good people. They did all of this just to help us, and you haven't even been cordial with them. They did it because it was the right thing to do. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"I do not appreciate being lectured by my daughter, but I will not take offense this time for you are in the right. I am sorry, Hoss Cartwright for misjudging you and your family although I must say I still have concerns about your brother Adam."

"Well, you shouldn't. He's the one done organized this whole thing. He's real smart and knew just what to do."

"Yes, but I have heard that he has been in gun fights and has killed men. He has a son but was not married to the mother and then she died in some far off place. Who can know what happened?"

"I can know. Her name was Regina, and she never told Adam she was carrying his child. He only found out because she was dying from these growths inside her and a friend thought that Sammy ought to be with his father ifn his mother died."

"But why did she not tell him?"

"Her religion doesn't stand for violence, and as you know, Adam carries a gun and will defend himself or his family and friends if he needs to. She couldn't accept that. I was there with Adam when she died. He buried her and then he brought their son home paying no mind to what people would say. Taking care of his son was more important than any gossip."

"Once more, I must apologize. My wife has told me that we should trust in our daughter's judgment. But after what happened, I was afraid to do that. Once more, I apologize."

"Well, mebbe now we kin start over the right way. On Christmas Eve, we invite friends to be with us for a celebration. I would like you and your wife to join us. I ask your permission to have Aubrey there as my guest, and while I'm at it, I want to know if you'll give your permission for me to court her official like?"

"Can I assume my daughter knew you would ask and has agreed to this?"

"Well we been putting it off thinking you might say no, but now I'm really hoping it's gonna be yes."

"Yes, and yes. We will join you on Christmas Eve as well. Will you wait until then to announce your plans?"

"Well, I hadn't really thought on it, but it sure does sound like a good plan. I'll do it. Now ifn you don't mind, I'd like to take your daughter for a ride. We'll be back before supper time cause I want to take all of ya to the International House for dinner."

"Splendid, splendid, we shall be honored. Thank you, and thank your family when you see them, please."

When Hoss returned to the Ponderosa, he left the carriage horse waiting as he rushed inside to tell everyone the good news. Little Joe offered to take care of the horse for him after offering congratulations on resolving the situation with the Ransoms. Hoss thanked Little Joe but went with him to help. Inside, there were smiles all around.

Listening to all the happy conversation and not quite sure what it was all about, Sammy had an observation. "There's always something happening around here. At my old home, it was quiet."

"Do you miss that, Sammy, or do you like all the excitement here?" Adam sat by his son. Regina had said that Sammy was stubborn and had a temper like his father, but Adam had seen little of that. He began to wonder if Sammy needed things to keep him occupied and that the quiet house had been frustrating for him.

"No, I like this better. This is fun."

"Even when bad things happen?"

"Well, I didn't like that. But I like doing stuff with you and with Uncle Joe and with Uncle Hoss and with Mr. Hop and with Mama and with Grandpa."

Adam put up his hand then to stop him before he named everyone he knew on the ranch and in town. "There's going to be a lot of excitement this week. We're going to get a tree to decorate. It's going to be right here by the fireplace. We'll get pine branches too and decorate the mantle and outside around the doors and windows. On Christmas Eve, we have a big party with our closest friends, and then on Christmas morning, we open presents and spend time with family. There might be a snowball fight in there too if mother nature cooperates."

"That's a lot. What's a snowball fight? Who's mother nature? Why do you put a tree inside the house? Can I stay up late if it's a party?"

Listening to the two of them, Ben chuckled and then explained to the others. "Adam was so much like that as a child. There were so many questions, and then sometimes I didn't have answers so he would go pester others until he got the answer. Sammy is very much his father's son." The love in Ben's voice and words for his son and grandson was unmistakable.

As Ben explained, Rachel heard as she came back to the great room after cleaning up. She had been practicing her shooting with Adam when Hoss had returned home. She found a pistol to be too difficult to shoot with her small wrist. Her first shot would be okay, but each shot after that was progressively farther off target and then wild because her hand and wrist musculature simply wasn't strong enough. However she had talent with a rifle and her skill level was improving rapidly. In addition, she wasn't afraid of a shotgun, or scattergun as she called it, for her father had used one for hunting. Adam was becoming more confident that she could defend herself if necessary, and out in the west, it was often necessary. Five days later, her skills were put to the test.

It was two days before Christmas, and snow was threatening. A light snowfall several days earlier had deposited several inches of snow making the landscape beautiful. The family decided they better get a tree before a snowstorm prevented them from doing so. Everyone bundled up in their winter clothing and extra blankets were put in the wagon. Hoss rode Chubb and Little Joe rode Cochise as Adam drove the wagon to the trees. Once they got there, it seemed that Hoss, Little Joe, and Rachel could not agree on a tree. If Adam favored Rachel's choice, his brothers complained that he was biased. Sammy liked every tree and had no clear idea why one might be better than another. Out of frustration, Adam packed up a snowball and pelted Little Joe. He was preparing another one when he got hit by three snowballs, and the snowball fight was on. Adam got the worst of it as first everyone targeted him until Rachel decided to try to help him. That still left him as the primary target for Hoss and Little Joe.

Finally Adam called a halt. He had snow inside his shirt and was getting chilled. They had also walked quite a ways from the wagon and the saw they would need to cut down a tree. Adam asked his brothers to watch over Sammy as he and Rachel headed back to bring the wagon closer.

"Just pick out a tree by the time we get back. We need to head home soon as those clouds are looking darker and could start dumping heavy snow on us in an hour or two."

Looking at the skies, Hoss and Little Joe agreed so they began a search for a tree they would both like. Sammy stayed with them with a steady stream of questions as to what made a tree a good tree. Adam and Rachel smiled as they walked to the wagon. Once there, Adam went to get the horses who seemed agitated. He thought perhaps the oncoming storm had affected them. He tied Chubb to the wagon but then Cochise reared and pulled the reins from Adam's hand. The reason was terribly apparent. A cougar, down from the hills, and apparently hungry was stealthily approaching with its body low to the ground and poised to pounce. Adam moved to draw his pistol but was too late as the animal sprung at him and knocked him to the ground. Adam vaguely heard Rachel scream as he did his best to keep the cougars teeth away from his neck.

Away in the trees, Hoss and Little Joe heard a scream, a cougar's roar, and then soon after, the blast of the shotgun. Little Joe took off at a run toward where they had left the wagon as Hoss hefted Sammy in his arms and ran back as fast as he could carrying the little boy. When they reached the wagon, they found a bloody scene. The cougar was dead with much of its midsection blown away. Rachel had pulled Adam up against a wheel, and was attempting to staunch the bleeding from numerous wounds. All thoughts of a tree were forgotten as caring for Adam became the priority. Blankets were spread in the bed of the wagon and Hoss helped his brother to lie down on them. Hoss and Rachel checked him over and decided that the best thing was to get him back to the ranch house. Little Joe retrieved Cochise and rode to town to get the doctor. Sammy stood as if in shock and Hoss had to pick him up and place him in the wagon as he stared at the blood and at his father lying there in obvious pain. As Adam looked up, he saw Sammy and, despite the pain, knew he had to do something for his son. He struggled to paste a smile on his face and beckoned Sammy to come closer. With a weak, soft voice, Adam called Sammy to come closer.

"It may look bad, but it's mostly scratches from the cougar. I'll be fine but you need to be my helper now. I could really use someone holding my hand until I get home. Do you think you're strong enough to do that for me?"

Nodding his head, Sammy moved closer. Rachel quickly wiped Adam's hand so that Sammy would not get blood on his hands. She tore more cloth from her petticoat and dabbed at the cuts on Adam's forearms. She suspected that the blood on his jacket was from those and from wounds on his chest. She felt a little guilty about that but didn't think she had had any other option. When they returned home, Ben came outside with a big smile that instantly vanished. With no tree and Hoss driving the wagon, he knew someone was hurt. Hoss and Ben got Adam into the house and into the downstairs guest room where they helped him remove his jacket and shirt fully exposing his wounds. Hop Sing was soon there with cloths and water to clean the wounds, and bandages to try to stop the bleeding. Several wounds looked like they needed to be stitched so Ben was relieved that Little Joe had already gone for the doctor. In the great room, Rachel held Sammy until Ben came out to say Adam wanted to talk with her. She was pale and shaky so Ben told her to wait a moment. He poured out two small brandies.

"You need this. From what Adam said, you saved his life so he doesn't want you to feel guilty about a few stray pellets that hit his chest. Doctor Martin can removed those and they probably won't even leave much of a mark."

That was all it took. Rachel broke down in tears, and Sammy hugged her tightly. "Don't cry, Mama. Papa said we should be strong. Please don't cry."

Regaining her composure, Rachel smiled at Sammy. "You are definitely a lot like your father. Now if you'll keep Grandpa company, I want to go talk with Papa."

Within a few hours, Paul Martin was there to do as Ben expected. He extracted several pellets from shallow wounds on Adam's chest and applied bandages to those spots and a couple of furrows caused by a few other pellets after cleaning the areas thoroughly. He stitched up one wound on Adam's left forearm, and bandaged both forearms to stop the bleeding. He told them Adam would be fine but they had to keep all those wounds very clean so that there would be no infection. He was most concerned about the claw marks on his forearms because the animals claws were probably very dirty when they cut through tissue there.

"Send for me at the first sign of infection. Otherwise, I'll see you in two days if mother nature is agreeable."

Hoss brought down one of his shirts for Adam because there would be room to button it over the bulky bandages especially the ones on his forearms. Adam moved stiffly out into the great room and sat on the blue chair. He had refused any laudanum, but was reconsidering that option when Hop Sing appeared with some tea he said would soothe the pain. With Rachel and Sammy sitting on the hearth next to him, he dutifully drank the tea and as conversation buzzed around him, he fell asleep. Hoss and Little Joe walked to the grove behind the house and chose a tree. It would be shorter than the usual tree for their Christmas, but neither of them was in a mood to spend the next day hunting for a tree far from home.

The next day, the tree was decorated with Adam sitting and watching. He had a slight fever, but that was expected. Otherwise he was already healing. As Sammy helped, Adam called Hoss over. Soon Hoss was gone, and when he reappeared, he had a box of items they had packed up in Regina's home. They were small white crocheted items. Each was about six inches in diameter and had probably been meant as doilies for vases or small pots. Adam asked Sammy if he would like to put them on the tree as snowflakes. His son smiled a crooked little smile and looked at Rachel. She smiled back.

"C'mon, Sammy, let's get those Mama Regina snowflakes on the tree."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

On Christmas Eve night, the Ponderosa was a shining star in the moonlit panorama of lake, trees, and mountains as lanterns lit the yard and every room in the house had lamps shining. For those invited to the party, it was a beacon as they drove there. The storm had been a mild one despite the dark clouds, and the snow covered everything in a bright blanket that kept the night from being so dark. Aubrey and her parents drove in with Doctor Martin and Roy Coffee. Others who were invited also traveled together for it was much safer. Soon the house was filled with laughter and conversation. Hop Sing had once again loaded the dining table with delicious food that the guests enjoyed almost as much as the camaraderie and singing.

The biggest topic of conversation was Adam's encounter with the cougar and being saved by his wife's shotgun blast that killed it. There were a few jokes too about how she had shot him as well, and whether she had aimed at him or the cougar. Those jokes made her blush because she was feeling guilty about hurting her husband even if she had saved his life.

"Oh, Sissy mighta been better off with saving the cougar. It don't talk so much, never argues, and don't sing the same dang songs all the time. Probably wouldn't get so ornery in winter ifn you just give him plenty of vittles and nice and warm to sleep next to too."

Seeing that the conversation was bothering Rachel and reminding Sammy of his fright, Adam asked Hoss to stop. When he didn't, Adam got angry. "That's enough. This is supposed to be a fun night of friends and family not a night to have your fun with me."

Hoss backed off then and went to refill his glass and plate. Aubrey walked with him. "Dang, what's gotten into him? He ain't usually so ornery on Christmas."

"Maybe because your jokes were upsetting his wife and son?"

"What? Really? Well I never meant to do that. Folks was laughing so I was just trying to be entertaining cause Adam can't play the guitar tonight. I never meant to upset anyone."

"I know you didn't, and you were looking at Adam to see his reaction, but I could see how upset Rachel was. She feels guilty about hurting Adam."

"Well, she shouldn't. He likely woulda died if she hadn't taken that shot. The only weapon she had was that shotgun from the wagon."

"You know that and Adam knows that, but Rachel is having trouble accepting it. When you said she might have been aiming at him, she nearly cried."

Showing Sammy the decorations on the tree and telling him the origin of each, Adam saw Hoss go to Rachel. Hoss talked quietly with her and then they hugged. Adam hoped it had been an apology and was not disappointed. Soon Hoss was at his side.

"Sorry, Adam. I was just teasing you and had no notion that it bothered Rachel so much. Aubrey straightened me out on that. I won't tease you no more about that."

"I do like Aubrey. She's good for you. She's a strong woman and a beauty too. I hope it all works out for you two."

"Well I got a surprise to announce tonight. I can tell you cause I know you won't say nothing but I'm courting Aubrey. Her father gave his permission. If everything works out, we plan to get married in February. I got her a ring to give to her tonight."

"You better announce it soon then before you tell anyone else so that the surprise is genuine. I think Pa has guessed a lot already because I heard him tell Hop Sing to have champagne ready just in case."

"So you had guessed too?"

"Hoss, most of the people in this room have guessed. Do you want me to tell everyone you're ready to make an announcement or would you rather have Pa do it?"

"Ya think Pa would do it?"

"He would be thrilled to announce that. Let me tell him, and you get yourself over to Aubrey. I'll alert Hop Sing too." Ben was as happy as he could be to have his suspicions confirmed, and Hop Sing had a big smile as he readied a tray of champagne. As soon as Hop Sing was ready, Adam stepped from the kitchen and signaled his father.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make. My son, Hoss, Eric, is officially courting Aubrey Ransom with her father's permission. Hoss, while we're all delighted that you have shown such good sense in choosing Aubrey, I've got an extra reason to celebrate. I will be getting another beautiful daughter! Thankfully Hoss changed his mind about being married and no longer thinks girls are 'yucky' as he told me when I said my wife Marie might have a baby girl. Hoss, I am so proud of the adult you have become. With Aubrey at your side and the love you so obviously share, everything is possible. To Hoss and Aubrey, I offer you this toast: When two people are one in their hearts, they shatter even the strength of the hardest pine. And when two people understand each other in their souls, their words are sweet and strong like the fragrance of flowers in a spring meadow. May the strength, love, and sweetness you share, endure and grow to be as high as the Sierras."

To applause and well wishes, Hoss smiled and turned to Aubrey. "There's just one more thing to do then. Aubrey, will you marry me?" Hoss pulled a small box from his coat pocket and offered it to Aubrey. She took it from him and saw that is was from her father's store. She opened the box to find an engagement ring that looked like vines woven together with amethyst stones set like grapes among them.

"Yes, Hoss, yes." She kissed him then before he had a chance to kiss her, but he did kiss her back with some enthusiasm until Adam tapped him on the back and said he should mention the champagne that Hop Sing had ready. It was the most celebrating that had ever been done on the Ponderosa on a Christmas Eve. Hoss explained that he had asked her father about a ring, and August had said he had made a special ring once but had been unable to sell it. He offered it to Hoss at a reduced price because he said his daughter had admired it often. She would have liked to have it, but August had told her it was more suitable for an engagement or wedding. When Aubrey saw the ring, she knew then that her father had accepted Hoss as her future husband and tears flowed from that knowledge when she thought about it later. She was so happy, and Ben invited her to be there on Christmas morning for the family gathering that made her cry too. Her parents said that she could stay at the Ponderosa instead of making the long trip twice. Rachel said she had a robe and gown that Aubrey could use. Sammy had a question then that embarrassed Hoss and Aubrey as well as his parents because their son was doing the asking.

"Is Miss Aubry going to sleep in your room, Uncle Hoss?"

To the laughter in the room, Hoss had to answer quickly. "No, no, well not until we're married, that is. Tonight Aubrey will be in the guest room down here."

"When you get married, are you going to have some babies? I want Mama and Papa to have some babies but they aren't. I want some other kids around here. It's too hard being the only one."

There was a roar at that one, and Adam put his hands on his hips and stared at the floor. No matter how often he was told that when he was Sammy's age, he asked questions just like Sammy, he could not believe that he ever embarrassed his father like Sammy often embarrassed him. Rachel stepped to his side. "We could tell them our news too."

"Oh, no, I'm not dealing with those questions for the next five months and especially not tonight."

"Can we tell them tomorrow? I think your father has already guessed it by comments he has made, and Hop Sing keeps making these special little treats for me."

"Those two are mind readers. Be careful what you're thinking around them."

"Well?"

"Yes, we'll tell the adults tomorrow. Sammy is going to have to wait a bit for the news."

"Aw, are you afraid of the questions he'll ask." Rachel smiled up at him because she knew he wasn't looking forward at all to explaining the facts of life to his son.

With a sardonic little grin, Adam nodded. He only hoped that Sammy would ask his questions when there was no audience. However that was unlikely so Adam began to prepare a strategy for telling him about the birds and the bees or at least as much as a nearly five-year-old boy could understand. Instead of a discussion, Adam took Sammy up to his bed. He was very tired but still excited and it was an hour before Adam got him sleepy enough to close his eyes. Somehow, Adam expected him to be up at dawn though. He had told him to be quiet and said he had to remain in his room until one of the adults told him it was time to come downstairs. Sammy didn't like the rule, but Adam told him that if he wanted his presents, that was what he had to do. Sammy conceded then. After Sammy closed his eyes, Adam went downstairs to help Rachel and Little Joe put the presents under the tree.

"This is probably going to be the best Christmas Sammy has ever had. I know how much I looked forward to it when I was young."

"Joe, he may be missing Regina too. Try to keep that in mind. She hasn't been gone a year yet. At his age, he doesn't understand a lot of things, but when he's reminded of her, he still gets a little sad. After we put the snowflakes on the tree, he told me that he couldn't remember what she looked like anymore and I reminded him of the blond hair and such until he said he could remember her a little."

Hoss and Aubrey came back inside then after helping Ben bid good night to their guests and secure the stable making sure all the animals were set for the night. Ben had stopped at the bunkhouse to drop off a few bottles for the men who stayed with them through the winter. He gave each of them a bonus check too. Soon he was inside. Rachel remembered to go upstairs and get a gown and robe for Aubrey. Hoss showed her to her room and bid her good night before he went up to bed with Ben and Joe following closely behind him. Adam wrapped his arms around Rachel and asked her if she would like to spend a little time sitting in front of the fire and enjoying the beauty and fragrance of the tree. Soon though with kissing and hugging, she told Adam there was something else she would rather enjoy in the privacy of their bedroom. He took that as an invitation and quickly turned down the lamps and banked the fire before setting up the fire screen. Then he offered his arm to Rachel, and they headed up to their bed but not to sleep or at least not right away.

As predicted, Sammy was up early the next morning. Adam was an early riser, but when he went to Sammy's door, he found he was dressed and ready for the day. He had been sitting on his bed waiting for someone else to be awake. After Adam went back to tell Rachel that Sammy was already up, the two of them headed downstairs. Sammy's eyes got very big as he saw the stacks of presents under the tree.

"Wow, Santa Claus must like us very much."

"There are a lot of people here who get presents though so there have to be a lot of them."

"Oh." Sammy looked a little disheartened by that so Adam offered an addendum to his statement.

"There still might be three or four presents for you under there though."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think it is a real possibility. Now let's go see what Hop Sing has for two men who are up early. I like to get something before I head out into the cold."

"Why do you have to go outside if it's so cold?"

"The horses and other animals still need to be fed, and there are other chores that need to be done. I can get a lot done before anyone else is awake. That way we can start opening presents sooner."

"Papa, I can help you with the chores."

Adam was inclined to say yes until he remembered the surprise his father and brothers had in the stable for Sammy. "Not today. I think you need to see if Hop Sing needs help and help Rachel too. Grandpa will be down soon, and you could help him too. It will be faster too for me if I just do what I've always done, and you want the chores done fast, don't you?" Sammy nodded. "If you're up early tomorrow, I'll have you help me. Perhaps we will have a chore for you to do every day so you can come out and work with the other men."

Rather proud to be treated like he was grown up, Sammy readily agreed before preceding Adam to the kitchen where indeed Hop Sing had coffee, biscuits, and preserves ready for them. They sat at the table and visited with Hop Sing. Rachel was soon there, and Adam headed out to do chores. Within an hour, everyone was seated by the tree ready for gifts.

There were no big surprises among the men, but the two ladies were in for surprises. Adam had purchased a large watercolor set for Rachel so that she could now paint some of the sketches she made. Aubrey received a carved horse from Hoss, and a bridle. She asked what the bridle was for and he told her to wait. Sammy got a toy train engine with wheels that turned and a bell that he could ring. He also got a new book and a new hat that was a small version of the one his father wore. He opened the last gift to find a small bridle. He asked what it was for, and Hoss told Aubrey and Sammy that the rest of the presents were in the stable.

Everyone donned their coats, scarves, and gloves to head to the stable. When Adam and Hoss threw open the stable door, there was a beautiful palomino horse and a small pony standing there with ribbons in their manes. Aubrey and Sammy were both excited beyond description. Adam had put a miniature saddle on the pony that was a gift from his father and brothers to Sammy and let Sammy have a short ride around the yard as Adam led the pony. Sammy was so excited especially when Adam said he could ride a little every day even in winter because the pony was so small he could ride a bit inside the stable if the weather didn't permit riding outside. Hoss handed Aubrey a couple of apples and told her how to feed them to her horse. He told her how to touch the horse to start to become friends with her.

"She's a gentle one, and when the weather improves, I can teach ya how to ride."

"Hoss, this may be the best present I ever got. Thank you so much."

"Well, my Pa and brothers chipped in too so she's your gift from all of us."

It was a bit cool so the group headed back inside after getting the two animals into stalls. In the house, they gathered in front of the fireplace once more as Hop Sing brought out hot chocolate, coffee, and cookies. Then the discussion centered on what they would name their new horses. Sammy was surprised to learn that he could name his pony.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Sammy, you done got a boy pony, and Aubrey has a girl horse."

"I want to name him King Arthur. It's a story Papa tells me sometimes at bedtime. He was strong and powerful and good. Papa said my first Mama's name meant queen so now I have a king too."

Smiles greeted that. Everyone agreed that it was a fine name, and Sammy sat proudly eating his cookie. Aubrey wasn't so sure what to name her horse.

"I never named a horse before. How do you choose a name?"

"Well, darling, it can be most anything. Some pick a name from a story like Sammy did. Some use classical names, or names from nature, and anything that suits your fancy."

"What is her name now?"

"Her owner called her Calamity because she just seemed to knock things over on occasion."

"Well then that's her name. I'll call her Calamity too if that's what she's used to hearing."

So Calamity and King Arthur became stable mates with Buck, Sport, Chubb, and Cochise.

That afternoon after Sammy went to rest because although he didn't always take a nap, the late night and early morning had been too much for him, Adam and Aubrey shared their news with the family. Ben had thought it was possible but was overjoyed to know it was true. There were congratulations all around but quietly so as not to wake Sammy and let him in on the news prematurely. Ben chuckled as he told Adam that he was going to enjoy the questions he got when Sammy found out.

"I know, I know. Don't remind me. I've been thinking about how to handle it. I know it won't be easy. How did you tell us, Pa? I don't remember when you first told me."

"That's because you were very young and Inger was carrying Hoss. When you found out that there was a baby in her, you had all sorts of questions. It did prepare me to tell your brothers though as neither of them ever asked as many questions about it as you did."

"Yes, but I remember well what Joe did with that information."

That brought requests for the story except Joe told the ladies that it wasn't that interesting. Adam disagreed and proceeded to tell the tale. "Well Joe asked me how he got inside Marie so he could be born. He had watched as I helped a mare birth her foal. He asked me then if he had come out of his mother that way and I told him he did. He had that next question then. But at age sixteen, I didn't want to tell him anything else about it, and wouldn't have known how to tell him anyway so I brought him and the question to Pa."

Ben picked up the narrative then. "Well I did my best to explain it to him and answer his question. I wasn't overly specific but he kept asking more questions. When he was finally satisfied with the answer, he was very quiet and never mentioned it again. Then about two weeks later, school started. The first day when I went to retrieve Little Joe from school, he was being held inside until I could get there. Apparently he had told all the children about how a baby gets inside a woman, and had pretty much quoted me verbatim. Now that just isn't something one talks about in public, and the teacher was very upset. I could imagine how the parents were going to react but none ever said anything. Perhaps Joseph getting in trouble for saying it had them worried about saying it themselves."

"Hey, Pa, what's the moral of your story?" Hoss was grinning.

"That Rachel needs to hope that her child is more like Adam or you than Little Joe."

"Hey!"

"What all the noise about down here? You woke me up."

So the discussion was over. Everyone relaxed and examined their presents and talked until it was time for dinner. It was a very good Christmas all around.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

As February neared, Hoss became more and more nervous, and Rachel's baby bump began to show just a bit. As Adam awoke the day before Hoss' wedding, Rachel was awake already which was unusual. She was rubbing her hands over her baby bump and Adam rolled up on his side next to her.

"What's wrong?"

"On nothing is really wrong, but with this, it's going to be difficult to hide my condition at the wedding. Some women especially are bound to ask."

Running his hand over the baby bump, Adam leaned down to kiss Rachel. Her lack of enthusiasm for kissing let him know how worried she was. "Sweetheart, it's a natural thing. Heck, most of the women at the wedding already have children. Why is it so upsetting to you for anyone to guess you're going to have a baby?" Adam watched her reaction and suspected the reason. "Is it because you haven't told your parents yet?" At her nod, he had a solution. "Let's take the sleigh there today. The weather is beautiful, and Sammy loves a sleigh ride anyway."

That suggestion brightened Rachel's mood immediately. "Really? Because I didn't want to tell them too soon, but then the weather has been so awful that we haven't seen them in two months and I would really like my mother to know before all the other women around here know, and it would be so great to do that." For the next few minutes, Rachel could hardly stop talking until Adam pulled her into an embrace and kissed her with passion letting her know what he would like. She decided she would like that too, so they were late to breakfast again.

Excited about getting to ride in the sleigh, Sammy hurriedly finished his breakfast so he could help hitch up the sleigh. Adam sent him into the kitchen to ask Hop Sing for some lunch for them to take along. Even though the day was bright and sunny, Adam wouldn't take anything for granted. He loaded extra blankets and clothing, a lantern filled with fuel, and a bundle of firewood into the sleigh too before they left as well as telling the family the exact route they would take. Hop Sing brought out several jars of preserves and fruit that he knew the Millers would like. It would take the family two hours to reach the Miller home with the snowy roads and another two hours to return leaving them with about two to three hours for the visit.

Watching them leave, Ben was apprehensive but with all the precautions Adam had taken, he hoped there was nothing about which to worry. He looked to the heavens and sent up a silent prayer before returning to the warmth of the house and the wedding preparations. Because it was February, the wedding was to occur in town. They needed to get their clothing packed and to make sure their toasts and such were well rehearsed. Hop Sing had made the cake and some of the food for the wedding buffet and that had to be delivered to the Cattleman's Association hall. The plan was for all of them to check into the International by Friday evening, and then stay over Saturday night leaving for home after church services on Sunday. All worked according to the plan except that Adam and Rachel were not there by sundown. As everyone sat down to the pre-wedding dinner, the three empty seats were conspicuous. Aubrey and her parents did not seem to sense the unease of the Cartwrights as they said that Adam and Rachel must have been delayed. After dinner, Ben and Joe went to the livery to get their horses to ride out looking for the missing Cartwrights. They were just about to mount up to leave when Adam arrived with his family.

"Hi, Pa, Joe. Sorry we're so late."

"Where have you been? We've been worried sick."

"Well, Pa, of all the precautions I could have taken, trouble occurred with things I didn't expect. First, Rachel's mother did not want to let her leave. They are so excited about the baby that she found excuse after excuse for us to stay just a little bit longer. Then on the road, the horse threw a shoe so we had to travel slowly. Finally about ten minutes out, part of the harness broke. I rigged a temporary repair and here we are."

Rachel was sitting in the back holding Sammy who had fallen asleep. She pulled the blanket that had been wrapped around both of them, and Ben reached in to pick up Sammy. He roused briefly and seeing his grandfather, promptly dropped his head and closed his eyes again. Joe helped Rachel from the sleigh. "Pa, Rachel and Sammy are both tired. Could you walk them to the hotel for me?" Ben agreed, and Rachel grabbed their bag and walked with Ben to the hotel as Adam and Joe unhitched the horse and moved the sleigh to the side of the livery. Once that was done, they headed for the warmth of the hotel too.

"So, did Rachel hear some horror stories about having a baby?"

"No, her mother actually said there was quite a bit of pain but it was bearable because what you are doing is so important. She said she completely forgot the pain once she got to hold her baby each time and couldn't wait to have another. All in all, it was fairly positive."

In the hotel, Rachel greeted the Ransoms and Hoss before heading to her room. Ben had told her that they had brought the clothing they had packed for the wedding and it was already in their room. Sammy was staying with Ben again so Ben sat in a chair in the lobby as Sammy gradually came awake. When Adam arrived, he asked Sammy if he would like some dinner. He did so father and son had dinner before heading to their respective bedrooms. Adam brought a plate for Rachel but found her sound asleep on the bed still in her clothing. Touching her cheek gently, he awakened her.

"Sweetheart, you need to eat something. My girls can't go to bed hungry."

"You think it's going to be a girl?"

"Yes, but I could be wrong. Now how about eating something?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Here, try a little of this stew. It's very tasty." Adam fed her a spoonful, and she admitted it was good so he fed her another one. Soon the bowl was empty. "Would you like the biscuit?" She nodded and he broke off a piece and fed that to her too.

"You're very good at this."

"I had to take care of Hoss and Joe when they were young and got sick. Joe was never hungry, but if you fed him, he ate."

"You're going to like having a baby to care for, aren't you?"

"I think I will. I know I regret very much not having that time with Sammy. By the way, I ought to go say goodnight to him. He's with Pa, but I think he may be going to bed very soon. Playing with your brothers, who spoil him rotten by the way, tired him out."

"Your brothers would spoil him too if you and your father allowed it." That was also true so Adam agreed. By the time he returned, Rachel had put on a gown and was sound asleep in the bed. She got tired much more easily now that she was only three months away from delivering his child. He smiled, undressed, and slipped into bed next to her.

The next morning after a late breakfast, the Cartwrights dressed for the wedding and headed to the church. Once they arrived, Hoss and all the others were surprised. It was impossible to get flowers in the middle of winter, and Hoss and Joe had decorated the church with pine bows and ribbons the night before. Now there were four orchid plants decorating the front of the church and satin bows on the end of each pew. Several ladies including Clementine Hawkins came in from the narthex.

"We brought our flowers from home. We only have four of us in the Virginia City Orchid Society, and we each brought our best bloom. They are pretty, aren't they?"

Hoss hugged Clementine and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Even with the makeup, everyone could see that she blushed. Then Hoss gave each of the other women a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Ben thanked them all as well, and Adam, Rachel, and Joe told them how beautiful their flowers were. The church had seldom looked so elegant. Hoss and his brothers stood in front as Ben and Sammy took their seats. Rachel sat to the other side waiting to take her spot next to Aubrey. Guests began to filter in and fill the available space until it was standing room only. Then the Ransoms appeared and told Hoss that Aubrey had arrived and was in the vestibule. With a signal to the organist, the doors in back opened and Aubrey walked down the aisle to Hoss. She was carrying a small bouquet of a small pine bough with a single orchid. It was tied with a satin ribbon, and Aubrey had a new triple string of pearls around her neck as her wedding gift from her parents. Later Hoss said he couldn't remember anything that happened after that but knew he must have done all that was expected because he did remember the minister introducing them to the congregations as Mr. and Mrs. Eric Cartwright.

After the wedding, there was a reception at the church for all who had attended the service, and then another reception at the hall before the full dinner for the invited guests. Ben and August made their wedding toasts to the couple as did Adam and Joe. Hoss and Aubrey left for the large suite at the hotel after that. By ten, most of the guests had departed and Ben noted that it was actually quite nice not to have to clean up the hall and move furniture back into place. He walked with his family to the hotel. But Sunday afternoon, the whole family was back on the Ponderosa just before another storm hit.

Hoss and Aubrey were delaying their honeymoon trip for a month until travel conditions improved so the family settled into the routine of life on the ranch during winter. By March, Hoss was ready to go on his trip as soon as a mare had her offspring. She had been having a difficult time and he didn't want to leave before she foaled. Sammy liked to go to the stable with Hoss. Everyone waited for the questions they expected from Sammy. There were no questions and everyone was disappointed except Adam who was not looking forward to the answers he would have to give. The foal was birthed with some difficulty but both mother and colt survived. Hoss and Aubrey left for their honeymoon and returned two weeks later. Hoss was disappointed to learn that Sammy had still not put Adam on the spot with questions about the birds and the bees even though Rachel was showing so that everyone except Sammy seemed to know she was with child. Adam said he wasn't surprised because at that age, he had not known that Inger was with child until Hoss was being born and she was screaming. Adam thought Inger was dying until one of the ladies said of course she wasn't as she was just having a baby. When Sammy had asked months earlier if his Papa and Mama were going to have a baby, Adam had told him they were trying. Apparently that had been enough of an answer because he didn't ask again.

About two weeks after Hoss returned, Sammy raced into the house. He had been outside with Joe and they had walked to the corrals where Joe had a stallion in each corral with selected mares. The horses were likely to foal the following March which was almost ideal for Hoss and Joe as they would have more time to care for them than during the busier months of May and June. Sammy appeared scared and ran to Adam. Joe had followed Sammy to the house wondering why he had gotten upset.

"Papa, don't try to have a baby. It's too scary."

"Why do you say that?"

"Uncle Joe showed me the horses, and you wouldn't believe what they do!"

"Sammy, I know what they do. It's natural. And your Mama and I were trying to have a baby, but now there should be one here in about a month."

"Really? How many times did you have to try until it worked?"

"Well son, that's a very private thing between a husband and wife." Adam looked over and Hoss' shoulders were shaking with the laughter he was trying to control, and Joe had his hand across his mouth suppressing a giggle. Aubrey simply couldn't take it any more and raced for the kitchen where everyone could hear Rachel laughing. Ben was at his desk with a cup of coffee and a smirk as he listened in. "Rachel, if you think this is so funny, you could come out here and help."

"No, you're doing just fine." More chuckles followed and Adam was sure he heard Hop Sing laughing as well.

"Where's the baby now? If you're getting one, why don't you go get it now?"

"Sammy, do you remember when the horse had its foal in the stable. Do you remember where it was?"

"Yes, I do. It was inside the mama horse and then it came out. It was all wet and covered in stuff." Sammy thought for a moment. "The baby in inside Mama? Is that why her tummy got so big?"

"Yes, the baby is growing inside Mama's tummy and will come out in about a month."

Sammy thought more. "How did it get in there?" Then he thought more and his eyes got very big. Ben was sipping coffee during the next question and some shot out his nose. That was the last straw for Joe who fell on the floor giggling and then Hoss let loose too. "Did you put the baby in there like the horses do?"

"Yes, Sammy, that's how babies are made."

"So you did that with my first Mama and now with my new Mama?" Adam was sitting in the blue chair and nodded. Sammy backed away from him and sat on the coffee table. "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it." Adam thought the worst was over and smiled at Sammy's reaction, and it was over for him. Sammy looked over at Ben and turned to Adam. "You said that Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe are your brothers and Grandpa is your Pa?"

"Yes, they are."

"And you said each one of you had a different mother?" Adam nodded again. Looking at Ben, Sammy stated his next conclusion. "So Grandpa did that too and with three mothers?"

"Yes, he did."

Sammy looked at Hoss and Joe next. "Did you ever do it?"

Hoss and Joe excused themselves saying they had a lot of work to do yet before dinner. Adam yelled after them. "Cowards!" Then he laughed. "Sammy, does that answer your questions?"

"Yes. Boy there sure is a lot to learn here." Thinking it was safe, Rachel brought out cookies and milk then, and Sammy decided to change the subject a little.

"Mama, how do you know when the baby wants to come out?"

Sitting back with a classic smirk, Adam waited to see how she would handle that question.

"Sammy, I'm not completely sure. I never had a baby before. I talked to my mother about it, and she said I would feel the baby drop lower and then get feelings to tell me it was time."

"I helped Hoss with the foal. Can I help you too?"

"Ah, no, the doctor will help me, and my mother will come if she can. Aubrey is here and can help me too."

"Can Papa help?"

"I hope so. We'll have to wait and see on that."

Almost one month to the day, it was time to see. About three in the morning, Rachel grabbing his arm and squeezing awakened Adam. He came awake quickly and sensed immediately what had happened. He knew Rachel had been uncomfortable all evening with a low backache. His father had told him it might be time so he had sent a hand to the Miller farm to let them know. Her mother was expected the next morning.

"Adam, my side of the bed is all wet. My water must have broken and then I got a very sharp pain."

"I'll wake Aubrey and Hop Sing."

"Please help me clean up first. I don't want them coming in here and finding this mess."

So after turning up the lamp, Adam helped Rachel to change into a dry gown before he rolled up the wet bedding and gown and got a clean set of sheets from his closet. He folded a blanket over the wet area of the mattress before putting the clean linens on the bed. Then he helped Rachel back into the bed and pulled the sheet and then a blanket over her. He added a log to the fireplace before he went to wake Aubrey and Hop Sing. Hoss came awake and volunteered to ride for the doctor. Hearing the commotion, Ben awoke as well. He came out in his robe suspecting that it was time for he had told Adam the night before that he thought this would be the night. He asked Adam how far apart the pains were and Adam had to go ask Rachel.

"She said a couple of minutes."

"I'll go tell that to Hop Sing. The doctor may not get here before this baby is born. You sit with your wife and help her by holding her hand when the pain hits." That sounded easy but Adam found it wasn't the first time that Rachel squeezed his hands with hers when a contraction hit. Hop Sing hurried in with everything they needed. Joe had finally awakened and went to sit in Sammy's room so someone would be there when he awakened. Ben told him that Rachel might scream at any moment, and Sammy would need someone to tell him what was happening. By five, everyone who wasn't helping Rachel was sitting in the great room. Sammy had wide eyes, and Ben tried everything he could to distract him but Rachel's screams every minute or so had terrified the boy.

"She's not gonna die is she?"

"No, Sammy, she's having a baby, and it hurts."

"But Papa said his mother died when he was born."

"Your Papa's mother was not a strong woman. It was too much for her. But Rachel is a very strong woman, and has a strong heart. I'm sure she's going to be fine."

About six, Doctor Martin arrived and rushed up the stairs when he heard Rachel scream. When he got there, he told Adam he could leave, but Rachel started crying.

"I won't leave, sweetheart. See, I have your hands. I can't leave."

Shaking his head at the unorthodox arrangement, Paul took a look. Hop Sing told him that the baby had just crowned, but Rachel was feeling intense pain. Looking it over, Paul decided that a more drastic approach was needed. "Rachel, you're going to tear tissue with this delivery. I could make an incision to speed up the process or you can bear down harder and push even with the pain. Either way there's a chance of infection but I can stitch it back together afterwards. The baby needs to be born now. He or she cannot stay in that position much longer." Adam looked to Rachel who could only nod.

"Can you push harder sweetheart?" Rachel nodded and bore down hard with the next contraction and then screamed once more.

Paul took over. "Once more, Rachel, push." And the baby's head appeared and then the body. With one more scream, Rachel collapsed and was breathing very hard. Paul handed the baby to Hop Sing and checked Rachel's heart rate. "It's fast but it should start slowing down now. Talk softly to her and wipe her face or anything else you can do to calm her. I won't stitch the tear until the afterbirth has passed." Keeping a close eye on Rachel, Paul tied off the umbilical cord near the baby and then cut it. Paul took the baby from Hop Sing and wiped the face softly. The baby seemed fine, and when Paul opened the receiving blanket to take a close look, she cried out loudly. "Her lungs are fine, and you have a healthy baby girl." He handed the baby to Adam who held her close. Paul checked Rachel once more. "Good girl, your heart rate is slowing a lot. Just keep breathing deeply. Rachel, can you open your eyes and look at your daughter? She's a beauty."

Holding their daughter Adam leaned toward Rachel so she could see her baby who had stopped crying as soon as she was wrapped up tightly again. Rachel reached out and caressed her face. "She is beautiful. Mama was right about this. It was all worth it."

"Adam, why don't you take your daughter down to the rest of the family. Send Aubrey back up to help Rachel clean up. I'll be done here quickly. It looks like she'll only need a few stitches."

When Adam appeared at the top of the stairs, Ben and the others stood. He smiled at all of them but addressed Sammy specifically. "Sammy, you have a little sister. And Mama is fine. She's very tired and needs a little rest before we go back up to see her." By then Adam was downstairs and everyone crowded around to see the baby. Ben picked up Sammy so he could see too. When Aubrey came to the top of the stairs to say that Rachel was ready to see Adam and Sammy, the two of them hurried up the stairs. Adam had not let anyone but Ben hold the baby yet, and he took her back to Rachel so she could hold her baby. With her baby in her arms, Rachel asked Adam how he felt.

Adam wrapped an arm around Sammy and placed his other hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Just over a year ago, I was ready to leave to find my place in the world. I was hopeful that I could discover it by traveling. Then I learned about Sammy and brought him home, met you and married you, and now I have a daughter, Elizabeth Regina Cartwright. Everything I hoped to have, I found here. I feel wonderful and hopeful about what the future will bring."


End file.
